Whether you care to admit it or not, Ephrata has a lot of quarks. There
are just somethings about Ephrata that no other town has…which makes
Ephrata so UNIQUE!

YOU KNOW YOU’RE FROM EPHRATA WHEN….

- It’s going to be a good week when the fields only smell like crap 3 out of 7 days of the week.

- You know you can find anything at the Lincoln Garden’s yard sale.

- When Reggie Ray (the homeless guy) has ever yelled at you while you’re in a car.

- You consider a winning season in football 5-7.

- You’ve run to lunch because it was Pasta bar.

- If you’ve ever said the phrase, “Everyone and their mom works at the car wash.” – Because it’s true.

- It’s no shock to you that there are actually amish people who deal drugs.

- You’ve gone to McDonalds after 10PM for a McFlurry.

- You don’t bother denting cans for a discount, because $Harp $hopper does it for you.

- It seems like the cool place to hang out is the Cloister Shopping Center

- You know what “PKF” stands for.

- When the majority of the cars at Bob’s American are older than you.

- You see tractor races when looking out your window and no one takes a second glance…

- The thrill of kiddy day at the Ephrata fair still excites you.

- You have nick names for the waitresses at the pancake farm…there’s
coffEE lady, “Sure, Sure” lady…and of course kathy pletz… – Shane
Hyman

- You know that if Green Dragon doesn’t have it, no one does.

- you’ve seen a drunk driver…in a buggy.

- You see Preston Witchcraft running around the memorial field

- Park City is a mall, not a city in Utah.

- The Pancake Farm has the best breakfast in town.

- Family Time/Countryside/etc. changes it’s name and closes every six months.

- When shopping for your first car, you went to at least ten different car dealerships…in town.

- Ralph the security guard knows your whole family.

- DJ Mixed Impressions should be related to you because he’s seen you dance every dance since 6th grade.

- Your parents have gotten so frustrated with you that you’ve ‘gone to the rec’ for long periods of time.

- You still believe that peeing in the Ephrata Pool is acceptable, because ducks live in it during the offseason.

- You love the Philadelphia Eagles, but hate the Cocalico Eagles.

- You’ve fallen asleep looking through the Martin’s in the phonebook.

- You know what someone means when they mention the spooks

- You know that a prime spot for sledding is the Akron Hill.

- When your relatives come to town, you’ve opted to have them stay at your home for fear of the Ephrata Motel.

- You know what a “wintry mix” consists of…

- When someone wants to order a pizza, it turns into an hour long arguement since there is too many options.

- The Ephrata Movie Theater is the last resort for a movie.

- You roll up your windows and speed past Rita’s and Wawa until you reach K-Mart because of the poop plant.

- You remember when the Ephrata Police handed out baseball cards.

- TV isn’t TV unless you have Blue Ridge Cable.

- When a tourist mention’s the Cloister you immediatly think of standing in a parking lot.

-When the Ephrata Fair comes you can’t leave without getting a toasted cheeseburger first!!!

- It takes thirty minutes to make it up main street since none of the traffic lights are syncronized.

- You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word, “snow.”

- You’ve considered going to High school naked to beat the hot classrooms.

-Slippy is a good word to describe icy roads to you

-Ephrata is the only town in the tri-state area that is primitive
enough to still chase pigs for entertainment…and we’ve all went to
watch

-The best way to make some easy money is to bet on someone with the last name Burkholder or Martin to win the pig chase

-When your high school doesn’t have a ceiling and you often wonder how the fans don’t fall.

- People think you are speaking a different language when you say “The milk is all,” or “I’m soon ready.”

- If you’re away from Ephrata for any extended period of time, you miss
Shoe-fly Pie, Yum-Yum Pudding, Waffles & Ice Cream from the fair,
and, of course, Roma Pizza.

- You’re idea of a sweet vacation is Camp Swatara or HersheyPark

- You get excited for Christmas in hopes that there will be another “Santa’s Workshop”

-You know you’re from ephrata when you see people hangin out at the cloister shopping center on friday nights with their trucks

- You wish Homer Shorts was you grandpa because he single-handedly taught you how to drive

- Going to Wal-Mart at 11 PM on a Friday because it’s the only thing to do

-You know you are from ephrata when WGAL is the source of all local
celebrities and they create quite a stir when they shop at local
supermarkets

- You can get a switchblade, a whoopie pie, and a goat all within five minutes at the Green Dragon.

- In elementary school you were taught to racially stereotype. Anyone
who wasn’t born in Ephrata was shunned outside to a rusty trailer
deemed “ESL.”

- The best thing to happen in the last five years was when the Girls Gone Wild Bus broke down at the Hilltop.

- Foods like whoopie pies, hamballs, and shoofly pie aren’t exotic foods by your standards.