September 20, 2007

  • What do you spend most of your money on?

    What do I spend most of my money on………
    Well to be totally honest I am a stay at home mom and at this point stay at home moms do not get paid for all the work they do :) It would be really nice if they did because we would get paid for 24 hours a day because the work of a wife and mother is a 24 hour job.

    So my husband makes all the money. What do we spend our money on?

    Well, that would be bills. That is where a lot of the little we have goes. The other goes to food and clothes and the things like that which are truly needed. We may not get all our wants as a single income household but the Lord does help us with our needs.

    My place is being a homemaker, Creating a home and nurturing my family. I 
    believe the bible is clear that a woman shouldn’t work outside the home.  She
    was created to be her husband’s helpmeet and part of her job description is to
    take care of her family. 
     
    Have you read proverbs 31 1-10?  Have you read how strong a submissive
    woman is? www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com 
    is a really good site I would suggest you all check out.
     
    1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for
    those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an
    infidel.
     
    The wife tries to perform a balancing act between her job and family–it
    does not work. Something must go undone.
     
    Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the
    one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.
    Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
     
    1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear
    children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak
    reproachfully.
     
    Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love
    their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at
    home
    , good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not
    blasphemed.
     
    Many Christian women have been seduced by the lies of feminism which scorns
    being a full-time homemaker. Some Christian women derive satisfaction from a job
    title rather than the Lord Jesus Christ.

    The Lord pronounced this curse on Adam:

    Genesis 3:17-19 And unto Adam he said, Because
    thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of
    which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the
    ground for thy sake
    ; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy
    life;

    Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth
    to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

    In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat
    bread
    , till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for
    dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

    Eve’s curse is found in Genesis 3:16 Unto the
    woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in
    sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy
    husband, and he shall rule over thee
    .

    Many wives are trying to bear both curses by
    working outside the home.

    When there are children at home, the absent mother will not be
    there for them when they need her nurturing, guidance, fellowship, discernment,
    chastisement, etc.

    The Bible clearly states that young women should marry, have
    children, and keep the house and home.

    God created husband and wife as complimentary members of
    marriage, with ONE flesh, ONE purpose and ONE vision. All too often spouses
    resemble two different people, with two different agendas, schedules, goals and
    interests. It may seem right and “healthy” to live this way, but it will destroy
    a marriage. While of course each one may have hobbies or interests that they
    pursue individually, their overall pursuits should be characterized by a unified
    spirit.

    We were created to support, rally behind, encourage, and pour
    our energies into furthering the vision of our husbands.

    Feminists gasp
    in horror at words like submission, obedience, and honor. But their agenda is
    absurd. They have set out to try to make a “family” just a unit of people,
    operating with separate agendas and equal authority, and stating that somehow
    that is what is going to make women happy. Just look around. Do you think it’s
    working?

    I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Comments (17)

  • I agree that during the days of my kids being at home, her being at home was wonderful. For that matter, her being home when the kids were young but in school was wonderful as well.

    With two of the kids out of the house, and the other two 16 and 18 years old, I would be okay with her going to work, if she ever chooses to. I am certainly not going to force her into that. I wish I could stay home and help her work all day.

  • Ugh…my mouse is acting up and I just lost a long comment.  I’ll retype what I can….

    RYC: This is our first ever car payment.  It was my husbands choice, not mine and it is used.  I would have been happy with using the money we spent on a down payment to buy something with cash.

    As for staying home, I agree with you…to a point.  I do think it’s important for a woman to be submissive to her husband and I do think it’s her job to keep their home.  I know a woman NEEDS to be home when her children are small and if she can homeschool even that much better.  (My husband was against homeschooling). 

    However, sometimes being a helpmate involves more than washing the dishes and changing diapers.  I got a job because my children are all in school all day and with the economy in our area my husbands income was cut by a third this year.  Major ouch.  We cut everything we could and there is still not enough.  Cutting ever further would require a *drastic* lifestyle change and we already live pretty simply.

    So, to help him I went to work.  I still keep the home, with help from him and my children (who I am training to be adults and they need to know how to do chores).  I am home to get the kids ready for school and then do some house work.  Paul is home to get them off the bus (I walk through the door about 5 minutes after the younger two) and sometimes start dinner but only when things are really busy.  Our children are none the worse for wear and our home is in better shape than before because with the time constraints of working I know I must do things when can, not when I get to them.

    The only scripture I would point you to is Proverbs 31.  I’m sure you are familiar with it.  There are several places that you could see what she is doing as work (sewing, farming, real estate).  However, the most obvious example is this:

    She maketh fine linen, and selleth [it]; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.”

    Anyway, that’s my take on it and I’m no where close to a feminist!  I just think it’s a more complicated matter than just a woman has to stay home and never have a job.  Please don’t think I’m being argumentative.  I’m just trying to give you a diffrent perspective.

    (Oh, and nice to meet you!!)

    Be blessed!

    Mindy

  • Thanks for reading! It’s awesome that you saw it. It was really fun to write.
    I’ll be praying for you! Keep the faith!

  • it would be a better world if there was more devotion to family and less devotion to the acquisition of goods.  I loved the days I was home with the kids, but ended up working too.  And I love my job.  But with my kids all grown, and them living in various states far away with the grandkids, I would like to spend lots more time with the grandchildren.

  • I always visit and thank each one who stops by to comment, so thank you.  This encourages me to keep on.  I admit at 61 almost 62 I often wonder the relevancy of what I have to say.  I do agree with your stand.  I too was a stay at home mom.  My third child died in womb.  My second son died twenty years ago June 4th just after graduation, from a qt abnormality of the heart.  My only living child is planting home churches in Sheffield, England.  I now do part-time home care and some reporting for our weekly newspaper.  I find these endeavors get me out and give me opportunity to share my faith, I have the gift of evangelism and I need to exercise my gift.  May the Lord bless and keep you always in His will. 

  • I totally agree, Kristen. I am a stay at home mom and will always be. I think it’s very important for children to have their mothers around and my husband to come home, after a hard day at work, to a clean house and a home cooked meal. If you are in a situation where you have to work and not stay home with your kids, maybe you should consider NOT having children. That’s what’s wrong with most kids today… no parental guidance.

  • You are fortunate to have a husband that is mature, responsible, and selfless enough to provide for his family.  Feninism has become a loud voice because many, like myself, tire of the childish men and tire of waiting for them to “grow up” that we need to take matters into our own hands to provide food and shelter.  I would love to be a homemaker and stay at home mom.

  • Being a mother must be tough work. It also a joy too. Well, at least for some. I wish I could but I don’t think I can support a family. Hehhe. Paying bills is one biggest ways to use money. But its not for your own please. Its sad that money makes the world go around. Its always money this and money that. I wonder what it would be like if one day, the wolrd’s money disappear and we all have to depend on one another to live. I’d really like to see that.

    Thanks for the comment.

  • RYC: We never had a single credit card up until June.  Lowe’s was giving a 10% off discount for just applying so figured what the heck might as well get that 10% off. ..hehe To our utter surprised, got approved. Turned out to be a God send because not a month later our water heater went out (literly, it fell through the floor  had a small leak unknown to us that caused the floor to rot out and it to go through) Was able to replace the flooring and buy a new water heater thnx to that Lowe’s card.

    During the summer, husband doesn’t get paid as much. Buying clothes and school supplies for 2 gets costly. Those other two cards come in very handy. Able to get them what is needed then pay it completely off with tax returns.  

  • You know, I’ve never heard anybody actually say that before. Of course, there aren’t many…how should I put it?

    Faithful? I don’t know. I just know there aren’t many ‘full-time’ (for lack of a better word) Christians around (at least that I know of).

    I just deleted half my post on accident. >>

    <<

    GRAGH. D; WHAT WAS I SAYING?! T___T

  • I have a cockatiel named Willow and a parakeet named Buttercup. My life pretty much rotates around them. {Click here to see a couple pictures} I, too, enjoy wild birds although I often forget to set the seed out for them. 
    Thanks for dropping by my site!
    Liz

  • This was a great post.  I agree with you.  I don’t have children right now, but I hope that when I do, I’ll be able to be a stay at home mom and wife.  I hold a high respect for stay at home moms! :)

    Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. :)  

  • We spend most of our money on bills, clothes, and groceries.  Clothes are for the kids not for us.  My husband makes an average salary and I recently decided to stay home (back in April 2007) with the children and be the wife and mother I longed to be.  I was the typical corporate women trying to juggle everything.  Well it took a toll on me and my family.

    To address the person who said the comment about the men who are childish.  Because women have taken it upon themselves to fill the role of the man, men have stepped down from the God given roles.  Women for years did not respect, nor did they desire to, the role of the husband in the family.  Women had convinced themselves as well as their children that mom is the only one who’s got it together and dad is just a body in the house to put up with.  As these mothers showed anger and disrespect to their husbands the children did the same.  Men today do not know their place, or should I say role, in life and relationships. 

    I think that our society is turning around and back to strong family values.  Women are starting to get smarter and realize that they can’t have it all (being a man and a women).  They are realizing that they should find contentment in filling their God given role.  More women today are being stay at home mothers as well as mothers who are taking on the role of teacher homeschooling their children.

    Yes, some people have to have 2 incomes.  We did for years but then we decided that I should be home with the kids.  We cut back and tightened our wallets.  We have been making it just fine though it takes more effort. 

    I use to think my husband was a complete idiot and worse then a child.  BUT as soon as I started treating him with respect he molded into the man that I imagined in my life.  I put my own guard down and treated him with respect.  Now I can say we are so very happy (10 years in June).

    Good luck to you!

  • I disagree with a womans role only being a homemaker.  I am not a feminist whatsoever, but I believe that being a “helpmate” is more than cooking, cleaning, and caring for your kids.  It can also be having a job to help with the income to support your family. 
    I am a stay at home mom during the day and work part time in the evenings and wouldn’t want it any other way.  I still have dinner ready most nights when the hubby walks in, but it’s sure not every night.  My income provides grocery money and money for extra things like movies, going out for dinner, preschool for our daughter, mini vacations, ect… 
    I know women who stay home all the time with their kids who only do it because they think they are supposed to serve the husband and they are the most unhappy people.  There are also women I know who are totally opposite and stay home and love it.  I think it just depends on your situation and what’s best for your family.
    What’s best for mine is to have me home during the day and work part time to get a break from the kids in the evenings and generate an extra income for the family.                    

  • @FlutterbyFawn - oh my goodness!!  That is a very biased comment.  I am sorry to say that but that is how I feel. ”"  If you are in a situation where you have to work and not stay home with your kids, maybe you should consider NOT having children. That’s what’s wrong with most kids today… no parental guidance.”"

    Please explain this to me,, and how would consider NOt having children?  Do you believe in birth control? are children not a gift from God?  would you consider abortion to be appropriate if by chance some family were to become pregnant and they both had to work???

    I am a Single Mother!!!  I work very hard every day, and my girls are great and have made me proud in every sense of the word.  My eldest daughter recently graduated from University, recently got married and is now working for the supreme court!  My daughter had planned on a very large wedding in August, where her now husband begins law school in a matter of weeks!  My daughter chose to forget the large wedding and do what was right.  She had a small wedding at the court house.  Why? My daughter is a Christian as am I and my youngest daughter as well.  There is no way she would live with a man and not be married.

    As you can tell this is a very touchy situation.  I was married for ten years to a good man, and then he began to drink and hit.  I am Baptist, My Father in Law is a deacon in a very large church in Orlando.  My father in law was the one that finally convinced me to leave.  Although in the Baptist religion we do not divorce easily. The church said my Father In Law was incorrect in giving me this advice. My father in law loved me and my daughters and knew we needed to be safe.

    I spend my days and many nites making this world a better place. As so do my children…..

    I would never have considered not having children,, number one They are a gift from God, number two they offer so much in this world,

    I am sorry but that comment is very offensive to anyone that loves children and considers them to be a gift

  • @misunderstood47 - wow it’s been so long ago since I posted that comment, I had to go back and see what it was about. Anyway, that’s your opinion. I understand that some women have no other choice but to work. Maybe their POS husbands left or maybe they lost their husbands to death. Those situations are a ‘give me’. But for the other mothers that work just because material things are more important than their children, should not have children at all. I feel strongly about that. Having someone else raise your kids just because you would rather have a career is ridiculous and selfish!

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