March 21, 2008
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What do you think? (advice please)
What do you think??? My husbands work has asked him if he would switch to
working 4:30pm – 4:30 am Monday nights – Saturday mornings.It would be a raise and more hours.We are trying to decide if it is a good idea with three children ages 6, 5
and 4.We are praying about it but would also love to hear thoughts or experiences
that people may have.
Comments (12)
I have to tell you, I LOVE it when my husband has Mondays off. His schedule rotates and occasionally he does work on Saturdays, which works out fine for us, even with the small children. Since we homeschool, we still get to enjoy any day off he has, together.
Well its usually money that would make someone do the change. However its not always worth it. Would you be comfortable sleeping alone each night? I do it and I hate it. Will your children have a fair amount of time with their daddy? My do not and crave it all the time. When my husband is home he sleeps and leaves out again. What about church? Does your church have meetings on week nights? This would put him out of church during meetings where God could work wonders in your life. It could very well be a temptation fo the devil to udo your family. Your boys need to see a daddy in church with the family and the lil girl needs to have her daddy to lean on. I think its so cute to see boys following their daddy around shaking hands at church. An its always sweet to see daddy holding his lil girl while the Preacher preaches. My husband is only in church on Sunday am, stinks he took a job with more money and its put him out of the house all but from Friday very late night to Sunday early pm. So the money was sopposed to be more. I feel God will get what he wishes and so will the devil if we give him rope to hang ourselves. Since him taking this so called better paying job, we have no medical insurance, have had several big things break down so the money goes out before it comes into the bank account. They always call him for extra work and he NEVER says no. My family is suffereing because he is gone more. He is grumpy a lot whenhe has come home, not reading his bible because he is too tired, its just not a good thing. I really would consider fasting and prayer big time. If I could go back I would beg my husband more to not take the job and be here with us. I am raising 7 children alone and having to use good solid men of God at church to point my boys too. They need it. I am also having to play the good parent, discipline, and whatever else comes along with the children and nobody to back me up. Thankfully my kids are very well behaved because I trained them young. An the worst time of the day in dinner time. We all gather around the table to one empty chair. My husband does not lead us in prayer, insted my teen son does it. Which is does a great job. An now the 6 year old wants to lead us in prayer. So Kristen, please don’t be tempted by money. God promises to provide all we need, trusting in him is way more important than trusting in the world. I wish I could let you see 1 week of our lives with a husband and daddy in the home. Its really sad when your a wife and you wait all week to see your husband. He comes home showers , eats, and sleeps. Always too tired to even give you a kiss. I would do anything for just one hug and one kiss from Doyle. Insted I am learning to live without it. Sad but this is all true.
I liked when my ex worked nights and had weekdays off with us.although he would sit on the couch drinking a beer most days the kids got to see him.i pray you guys can come to a decision
As you I would love more money…..my hubby used to work different hours but days and he could then get as much OT as he wanted….loved the money….but we never saw him
Now he is with the same company but works 7-3:30 no OT which is a cut in pay….I love his new hours … he is home to be a dad and a husband to me.
Our old pastor asked us once when he considered a job change…”how does this impact your family”
I am afraid this change would impact your family in a very negative way….money is great but not at the expense of family at all
Have a wonderful Resurrection Day
Kristen, I won’t beat around the bush~ your kiddos need their daddy active in their lives (especially the boys right now). For boys, developmentally, the most important time with their dads are the childhood years. From personal experience, I can tell you that we are now seeing the results of a dad who was too busy, then too tired for his kids when they were young. He was working late shift/swing shift & going to school full time from the time our oldest was 4 until he was 9.
5 years. Hubby was either at school, at work, doing homework, or sleeping. That’s only a slight exaggeration. T’s behavior now, reflects that loss of his dad’s time with him. He’s not into drugs or a terribly immoral lifestyle, but he is still rebellious in his own way, & has very little respect for his father. I’m not saying your hubby shouldn’t take the job, but he will need to be willing to spend a good portion of his days off with the kids, & you. He will need to be available to raise his kids in the nurture & admonition of the Lord.
Honestly, homeschooling would help if he does take the job. You could plan your entire schedule around him. Hubby has been working swing shift for 16 years now. The kids would have had very little time with their dad if we were sending them off to school each day. Pray hard, & count the cost, because there really is one. I haven’t even addressed how this could affect your marriage, because you’re adults & can rise above those issues, if you work (hard!) at it. It will be hard on you. The kiddos, on the other hand, have no choice, & you can’t make up that loss of time with them. I’m not trying to be all doom & gloom here, really. God will provide, & all things DO work together for good to those who follow Him. But, from experience, I can look back & see how we could have handled those 5 years so much differently, & how what we did do affected our family. I know other families where the dad is gone for a couple of weeks at a time, but when he’s home, he’s pouring his life into the family, working & playing together. It’ll be tough for him to be the spiritual leader in the home when he doesn’t see his kids at all for 4 days of the week. But 3 days off is pretty good! I often wish (since we’re already leading the swing shift life) that hubby worked 4 twelves with 3 days off.
I’m praying the God give you wisdom in this decision. It’s a tough one!Dee
Let’s see, for 16 years my husband worked in law enforcement and continued to get raises and promotions. We lived shift life and made a great deal of money. We did not serve Him as faithful as we should have. My husband then had a car accident and is permanently disabled and uses a cane(neck and back injuries) He now works and makes less than 20,000 a year(3 kids at home). We not only are surviving, but learning to be good stewards to all we have. We also are serving Him and keeping Him in focus.
Your children will move out and time flies so fast. Forget the money, and the hours…focus on Him, the marriage, the children. We are not living for here.
I know that that is easy to say, but I can verify these things personally.
Learn to live under the salary or wage currently earning. It is amazing that we have actually been able to put money in savings all the while learning this lesson ourselves.
My husband spent 2 years working overnights at Wal-Mart. We were grateful that God found that way to provide for us at that time. I did not enjoy being alone in bed at night. The first few weeks of adjusting were difficult. This decision rests solely on the type of man you marry and how he handles himself as a father. When Matt came home in the mornings, he would play with the kids and drive my daughter to school. He would then come home to sleep. My son knew his Daddy was home all day and would talk to him alot, even though he was sleeping. I have a disease that puts me in constant pain. On my bad days, it was good to know Matt was home if I needed any driving done. Whenever special events or holidays came up, he would adjust his sleeping schedule to be able to participate. Without a day job interfering, he was able to attend all of our daughter’s dance recitals, school field trips, and open house events. He was able to attend all church and family functions, just by splitting his sleep on those special days. A strong man can make it work. We still had plenty of family time, because my husband considered it to be a priority for himself.
As for chasing dollars, this may be God’s way of providing. Never sneer at the money if your family is desperate to going hungry and needful of those dollars. My husband is a certified teacher, but we were incredibly grateful for that overnight wal-Mart job. Some would have belied that he should not lower himself to accepting such a position, but I know without a doubt God put him where he needed to be at the time. Matt has recounted several situations where God’s hand was present and he was able to share Him with others during those nights.
The main question should be whether the two of you can make it work, not whether others have failed or succeeded at it. Would his job be willing to let him try out the new position and schedule for a few weeks, a trial run as it were? Sit together, pray, then discuss it openly. Discuss your thoughts and fears together before trying to decide. It is a major step, but not necessarily a bad one.
My husband works 5pm – 6am (sometimes not home until 11am!)…we’ve adjusted. It takes time to adjust your lives to it…but it works for us now. It is hard…probably harder on me because my time alone with my husband, once the kids were in bed, is now when he is working, and I’m alone. He comes home and sleeps all day, then gets up for an hour and leaves again…it does feel like we don’t see him for days at a time. But….he does have monday day off, fridays and the weekend. I like having him home on weekdays because we homeschool, we can go out with him and things like the park or zoo are empty! I’m not sure what to tell you…my husband was just offered a job working a normal 9-5 sceduale and it’s really tempting him because he thinks it would be easier on me…just be supportive whatever happens. I really struggled with that at first. I had a new baby and was up all night too…but I couldn’t sleep all day! It was hard to not feel resentful of that…but I know better now
I’m probably just repeating what everyone else has said but I would say pray for wisdom and for God to make His will known by slamming the door in your face if He doesn’t want it. Remember that God’s will is most important. Money doesn’t matter because God provides all that we need.
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This is a tough call, no doubt. While I don’t know what or how many hours he currently works, I assume they’re satisfactory. Granted, once your kids are all in school, his new schedule would definitely cut into the available family time. Will it interfere with church attendance/participation and/or are there any advantages in that respect? Financially or otherwise, it may be tolerable/beneficial for a season? Why are they offering him this opportunity? Would these new hours also include increased [resumé building] experience, and/or open future doors within the company? What about Holidays? How much sleep does he require/typically get, and when would he sleep then? 12 hrs, minus commute time, for rest etc. does not seem like alot, and re that, all family time is quality time, even the mundane. Whatever your decision, just trust in the sufficiency of God’s grace, ala Romans 8:28. Amen.
HHmm this is a tuffy.
If I remember correctly if you do this your family would be waking at about the time daddy would be getting home from work in the morning. which might actually give him more time with the kids depending on what time. Or about the same amount of time as he does now. Normally I would say no way but if it does give him more time with the kids Although I don’t really know his hours now so, not sure. If he is coming home at 5pm now and you are all in bed by 8pm, thats only 3 hours. And if he is coming home at 5am and the kids are off to school by 8am then it is the same amount of time. But as someone else pointed out, you would also not be able to sleep with him at night. Also he has 2 nights off but his body’s schedule will still be upside down. I also am aware how much our family could really use a raise with how quickly the prices have been going up on everything.