December 9, 2010

• Thursdays Humorscope

  a friend sent this to me. Enjoy

  Aries (March 21 – April 19)

  Tomorrow when you wake up, many small objects on the carpet will bring you to the alarming conclusion that you have a live rabbit in the house. Search though you may, however, you will be completely unable to find hide nor hare of it…

   

  Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

  You will be in a somewhat ornery mood when you go out to an Italian restaurant tonight. You will insist on chopsticks.

   

  Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

  Hide.

   

  Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

  Today you will rescue several hostages from a life-or-death situation, using only a banana milkshake and a length of twine. Film at 11.

   

  Leo (July 23 – August 22)

  That bad smell in the closet will get stronger. Time to investigate.

   

  Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

  Squid day, again. Try to make the most of it. Perhaps you could go around with a bucket of squid, and give one to each of your neighbors? Chances are you don’t know them as well as you should, and this will make sure nobody feels guilty about that in the future.

   

  Libra (September 23 – October 22)

  Your manager will be a twit, today. That’s ok, though — it’s what he’s paid for.

   

  Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

  You will get a postcard from the Forbidden City today, containing some very unsettling news. You won’t realize that, of course, since it will be written in a language you don’t understand.

   

  Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

  Good day to use the expression “just dandy” as much as possible. Tomorrow: “okey dokey” day.

   

  Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

  Big career move today! Oddly, your decision will be somehow related to a pamphlet called “Goat Herding Made Easy”.

   

  Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)

  Good day to wear tropical fruit on your head.

   

  Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

  Your next fortune cookie will say “See? We told you it taste like chicken!”

  • 6:51 am
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