May 22, 2008
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my day and Aunt Irene
Well, today my aunt Irene came over to “clean grandma and grandpa’s house.” (They live downstairs.) They were going away so she said that’s ok. I can do it anyway. Fine whatever…I don’t care.
So she cleaned their house…fine…whatever…..I don’t care.
Did she stop there?
NO
she went out side and decided that it didn’t look good enough (Of course Kristen couldn’t do a good enough job..It’s Kristen)…..
So she decided to kill two of my Rose of Sharons….
She killed all of the plants that my children gave me from school this year….
She cut the whole side off of our one bush…….
She ripped out many plants I spent money buying and time planting….who cares right? Who cares it is just stuff that I put time into…it is just stuff that I put my heart into….It is just stuff that I cared about.
It is just my stuff that she killed and got rid of without any care for me.
Who cares after all it is just Kristen. I mean who cares about Kristen. Why should anyone care about the stuff Kristen’s children gave her…It’s just Kristen.
Why should we ask before we kill Kristen’s two Rose of Sharon plants….After all it’s just Kristen.
Why should we care that we are ripping out the plants that Kristen’s children gave her That are planted IN THE FLOWER BED!!! after all it’s just Kristen. Why would anyone want to care about Kristen.
It’s just Kristen.Just when I was starting to think I matter. Just when I was starting to think everything I was doing meant something. Just when I thought I was appreciated for the things I do around here. I guess I had forgotten…I am just Kristen. I had forgotten that Kristen doesn’t matter. I had forgotten I am not allowed to care. I am not allowed to have feelings. I am not allowed to say anything. I just have to take it. After all I am just Kristen. And who cares…it’s just Kristen. Kristen doesn’t matter…I forgot.
Barry spent the past almost 10 years trying to get me to think I matter….but I forgot….I am just Kristen….It has never mattered what Kristen feels. It is ok to walk all over Kristen. After all it’s just Kristen. Kristen isn’t allowed to have feelings.
Who cares…..
It Is Just Kristen!Here are pictures of just a few (not even half) of the plants that are no more…but who cares right…after all it’s just Kristen….and we shouldn’t forget…I don’t matter.
Comments (11)
cheer up Kristen try to not think on bad things , go give your kids a giant hug , tell Barry how much you adore him. Go laugh with your family. They are what counts. Trust me I know all too well what its like to not have family that cares. Which is why I moved 1500 plus miles away from Maine and will NEVER move back.
Well kiddo – when you get over the pity party, remember that there are those of who DO care. You are a valuable young woman of God, and no one can take that away from you.
I’m sorry for the loss of your plants. Just remember that you have a loving husband and children. Okay.
Love ya, Cousin Peg
@pjkelly - thanks Cousin Peg. I am basically over it. Writing this all out helped a lot. Plus playing with my three silly little ones….can’t stay upset long with them around
Bless your heart, I know how that feels to have people treat us like that. You have a lovely family there…Pour your life to them and most importantly Christ. He cares for you greatly! You’re the apple of His eye! Just a caring reminder. We ALL need those reminders from time to time…I pray tomorrow will be much, much better for you!
What you felt was real, yet deep down I do think you know that you are special. It’s these feelings we can’t understand, they make us just as angry as the person who was also doing the wrong deed. There comes a time when you confront the person kindly and respectfully yet also very firmly…you are DONE walking over me. I am a person who lives, cares, loves, PLANTS, and you distroyed that and also HURT my feelings….
What an adorable son you have…you matter to him, and I’m sure he wants you to feel that way and be confident about it. Cheers on dealing with feelings and those who trample them!
Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry that happened. Could any of the plants possibly be salvaged? I know you can’t do much gardening right now, but perhaps ya’ll could start some new seedlings in the house? They would be ready for replanting about the time your arm heals. *hugs*
You do matter. Look at your children, remember your own childhood, and remember that Kristen the Mother MATTERS. Kristen the wife MATTERS. Kristen MATTERS, period.
I’m sorry that this happened Kristen. You are a wonderful and devoted mom and wife. You are special to God too and to a lot of other people. {{HUGS}}.
You had more self restraint than I would have. I believe I would have walked outside, hand firmly planted on my hips, and said in an undeniably serious voice, “Oh NO you don’t!”
Words fail me. It must be hard to see someone destory what you put time and effort in. But the bottem line is, you DO matter to God and the family that he gave you to care for. I know what it’s like to struggle with that I don’t count, my words don’t count, even my presence dosen’t count. It’s better then it used to be, but sometimes Satan still attacks me with those thoughts. Hope you can find a few flowers to plant as I love having flowers around, too!
I’m so sorry to hear this, Kristen! I could just hear the frustration in your voice when I read this. I know it is always more hurtful to not be appreciated by our family members. Hug your sweet dh and dc and focus on how much you mean to them.
I hope Aunt Irene doesn’t come over often. You can’t stand much of that kind of help!!!!