October 25, 2008

• GREAT MINDS WANT TO KNOW

  I got this in an email and had to share it

  GREAT MINDS WANT TO KNOW:

  Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

   

  BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was
  time for a change!

   

  JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
  because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all
  the chickens on the other side of the road.

   

  SARAH PALIN: From where I live I can see the chicken
  crossing the road.

   

  HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped
  that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
  qualified to ensure  right from Day One!  that every chicken in this country
  gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about
  me.

   

  GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken
  crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
  road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle
  ground here.

   

  DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

   

  COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
  clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

   

  BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
  What is your definition of road?

   

  AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

   

  JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
  road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
  about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
  

   

  AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need more
  black chickens.

   

  DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
  won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of
  the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.
  What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on
  his current problems before adding new problems.

   

  OPRAH: Well, I understand that this chicken is having
  problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having
  the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m
  going to give this chicken a car so that he can drive across the road and not
  live his life like the rest of the chickens.

   

  ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a
  chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
  

   

  NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s
  guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

   

  PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
  American.

   

  MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that
  chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs
  when the price dropped to a certain level. No bird gave me any insider
  information about crossing.

   

  DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
  with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been
  told.

   

  ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

   

  JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you
  people see the plain truth? That’s why they call it the “other side.” Yes, my
  friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you may become gay,
  also. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
  liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.”
   That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as
  that.

   

  GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why a chicken crossed the
  road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
  

   

  GRANDMA: Amen!

   

  BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments,
  we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
  story of how it had experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
  accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

   

  ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
  

   

  FLAVOR FLAV: Say what?

   

  JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads
  together.

   

  BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will
  not only cross roads, but will integrate with those that lay eggs. Henhouse
  Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more
  stable than previous versions.

   

  ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or
  did the road pass beneath the chicken?

   

  COLONEL SANDERS: Which way did he go?    
  

  • 7:56 am
  • 23 Comments