July 26, 2009
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I need your help
As most of you know…I normally veil my head and look like this…
But as most of you also know..I am in the process of trying to get a job. Now I could try to force them to let me veil (Which is not part of the dress code) and most likely not get the job or I can go along with their dress code while at work and veil when I am not at work. I pick choice #2 as I need a job.
So why do I need your help? I need your help with my hair.
I had my husband take some pictures of my hair tonight. I need you to give me ideas on what I should do with it (color it or anything else etc) or if it looks good as it is.
Here are the pictures….Help me please.
Comments (75)
I think you look great!
@thekeyhole - Thanks…I have been spazzing a bit about it. Wondering if it looks ok and stuff like that or if there is something I should do with it.
Try parting it to one side and just styling it neatly. You have a pretty hair color so if you were going to add any color just some very light highlights to just add dimension to your hair. And if you wanted something a bit more you could always use a hair balm and kind of rub it upward in the back part of your hair. Your natural part is to the left so for sure, I’d flip it that way.
Oh and I hope you get the job…and maybe once you get the job you can start wearing your veil again soon thereafter.
i think it looks cute cut short like that. sometimes places will allow a ‘mennonite’ type covering. while i was in college and wore a covering, i worked at a fast food place. they let me wear mine without to much fuss. i mean, some of their workers wore baseball caps with the companies logo on it, so it wasn’t too much of a stress. i wore one like this.
@MySecretLoveAffair - I will still be veiling outside of work
I think it looks great just like it is.
@Native_Texan - @sarahfus - thanks
I think your hair looks nice the way it is too. I wouldn’t worry about it.
@talula1984 - thanks
I looked around to see what styles there are out there that’s not “flowing” past the neck. When I saw this, I thought of you immediately. Would you consider this? http://www.candleonthehill.net/store/catalog.php?item=57 I would recommend solid colors and I’m sure you will find couple shades that will match your outfits! Perhaps find one that matches your hair and make a couple? It won’t stand out as much if that concerned employer.
I would never take my covering off, not even for a job. I have had turned down a job because I knew my loose long skirt will not be compactible in a factory. I also worked at McDonald’s for one full year- they asked me about two piece dress available from their employee catalog, I said I can’t and it was fine with them. I fit in by making couple navy blue dresses to match employee’s shirts. I wear a covering similar to Amish but gathered instead of pleated. This is where I was a lone plain person in area working!
just my two cents…
we live in PA… the biggest head covering state in the US! why on earth would they not hire you? I’ve never had trouble with anything over headcovering – even though I don’t wear a traditional anabaptist headcover.
if you’re convicted to headcover, don’t let man convince you not to. as a sister n Christ I implore you to reconsider. God is in control.
try a simple white or black veil or scarf. there is no reason to go without a cover in PA. goods sells black and white scarves. easy to use… but not as loud and bold of colors as your normal coverings. I wear one when I wanna blend in a little better.
While you and I disagree on the whole head covering, or at least I think we approach it from two different perspectives, I agree with the few that have encouraged you to continue to cover since that it was your conviction is. I understand the need for a job, and the desire to not force an issue, or be a “troublemaker” and that’s respectable. I also understand that wearing a covering might cause you grief in the job search, and might risk potential offers. I understand you probably need the money right now, we all do.
But I also understand who our God is, and what He can do – as I know you do as well. If it is a sincere conviction to cover, as unto the Lord, I would encourage you to continue in that, and understand that God is Sovereign, even over job issues. It’s easier said than done, but I’d rather follow my conviction than receive a paycheck any day. Do the birds of the air starve, for lack of food?
That having been said, if you want to uncover for work, that’s ok too. It really is a personal decision, and one that must be reached through prayer. Your hair is fine (though for some reason I always pictured it long, it was quite a shock to see it short
) and I’m not sure that as far as changes go I’m the one to opine lol…
Your hair looks very pretty just the way it is.
The only other thing I want to say as I am neutral in this is be true to yourself.
PS: You’re always smiling! You have a beautiful smile.
Mybe part it to the side…add some gel not a lot not to look like an italian guido or anything…or maybe bobby pin to keep it down.
@WintersWitch - aww..thank you
@sarahfus - @OverACupOfTea - @James3_1 - I can’t wear my shalwar either….The dress code is black pants (None jean) and
black nonskid shoes and they give the shirts which must be tucked in the pants.
It will be totally different then how I would normally dress…but I am hoping
that people don’t go there thinking oh lets check out the help.
Your hair looks pretty. Dark and thick. I don’t think you need to do anything to it.
Good luck finding work. ^_^
@butterflyknives - thanks
Perhaps an encouraging reminder then –
We should make every effort to avoid causing our brother or sister to stumble, whether in thought or deed, but at the same time we cannot control what they do or think, nor are we held accountable for those things. Modesty being a large part of the reason behind covering, keep in mind that this uniform doesn’t exactly sound alluring
@James3_1 - I hope not….I mean…do guys walk into Wendy’s restaurant and think man I want me some of that lady taking my order? I hope not.
@Kristenmomof3 - Well, it depends on whether they are ordering a Double Bacon, Double Cheese, extra pickle double stack, or if they are just getting a grilled chicken sandwich, but for the most part, no – they don’t.
@James3_1 - HA HA
Seriously, I know that there were times I did, if I found the lady taking the order especially attractive, but on the flip side, if I found her attractive it wouldn’t have mattered whether she had a hair covering or not. I am fairly certain that the same would be true for any other guy.
The point is, you do all you can and understand that “we all stumble in many ways” James 3:2 I think
Wendy’s? If so, then I’m surprised that they won’t allow head veiling of any kind. Not even Muslim type of people allowed to work there? No compromises at all?? Not even making own long black (same shade of black pants) skirt? You could try to secure a shirt a size larger as not have kinda form fitting look if you so desire. Have you told these people that you cannot put on exact requirements and offer alternatives? If you are willing to leave off loose clothes and head covering, then what kind of example it is setting for your children and others who admires your standards? Have you searched God’s wisdom as to what He would do in this case? Remember of how Jesus was tempted and listen to how he responded to these. Remember of how stuble Satan may be.
I was wearing similar to this Old German Baptist uniform like in this page. http://plainlydressed.com/ladiesgirlsclothingfile.html I still got job at McDonald’s without changing how I dress.
I’d be inclined to think that men would be more likely to ‘lust’ when they see ladies in shirt/pant than ladies in a loose but neat and modest dresses.
If you felt led to change how you dress in order to secure a job, that’s your choice. It is between you and God. Do not allow me to interfere what’s to be strictly between you and God.
just my two cents.
Is it something you’ve explicitly asked of them (e.g., “Would you consider hiring a person whose religion requires __________?”) I used to work at a Jamba Juice in California; when I initially interviewed with them they told me about the dress code (jeans, nonskid shoes, and the company t-shirt), so I asked if I could wear a jean skirt instead of pants. They were totally cool with it when they found out that it was a matter of religious belief, as long as it was a jean skirt and not, say, a long cotton skirt or anything brightly colored. Turned out they had had a Muslim employee before I got there whose religion required a dress and headcover, so they just learned to adapt.
I understand that, with things the way they are right now, one needs to be competitive and not “rock the boat” too much when looking for jobs, but employers also still don’t want to deal with discrimination suits, either. It’s at least worth asking as long as you stipulate that you’re willing to work there even if they mandate that you may not cover.
That being said, I think your hair suits you just fine — if I would suggest anything I’d say maybe some warm golden brown highlights to bring out your eyes, but highlights can be expensive when done correctly and that kind of defeats the purpose of getting a job to begin with! =-P
@GermanWrench - They said that if one wants to work for them they have to dress according to the dress code.
@GermanWrench - they are a “training” one…I dont know what exactly that means and if it makes them stricter or what. To get passed the first interview onto the second one you have to agree to the dress code
@OverACupOfTea - ”I’d be inclined to think that men would be
more likely to ‘lust’ when they see ladies in shirt/pant than ladies in
a loose but neat and modest dresses.”
From the men I’ve talked to about this issue, I’ve heard PLENTY of guys (ESPECIALLY church friends) tell me that they find “modest” clothing sexy. A woman is a woman, regardless of how she’s dressed, and men are going to lust if that is their hearts’ inclination. Cheesy-kreesy, I’ve heard guys tell me they find birqas sexy. I think it’s naive to assume that fallen men without God will somehow be cured of lust simply by wearing or not wearing certain clothing. But maybe this is just because all my life I’ve had more male friends than female and, for some reason, they always feel free to tell me what they’re really thinking.
My conclusion is that men are men, and only God can control them — and men without Him are going to mess up regardless of our own actions.
@Kristenmomof3 - That sounds discriminatory to me. What are Muslim, Mennonite, Anabaptist, etc women supposed to do — shut themselves up at home and hope that the world never requires more than one source of income? I mean, I can see their point if the economy is strong and people really do have other options for employment, but you’ve been looking for a long time now; it’s not like you can just go somewhere else if this doesn’t work out.
Grrr… sorry, now I’m frustrated for you.
@GermanWrench - yeah…not tons of options for a person with a 10th grade education
who was raised in an anabaptist home but cant go work for the “anabaptist companies” because she doesn’t dress exactly like them anymore
@Kristenmomof3 - Don’t I know it… why do you think I’m in the military? Can’t get anywhere without at least a Bachelor’s anymore; even my stinkin’ associate’s wouldn’t get me anything better than a 6-year hitch with the Navy.
@GermanWrench - lol…they wouldn’t even want me
1 I am nonresistant…so I wouldn’t fit in really well LOL
2. Need High school deploma
I wonder if you went to a sort of triangular scarf or something….if that wouldnt fit in better at work and still allow you to cover as you feel you should?? You know that I don’t feel the need to “cover” but I certainly respect your feelings on the subject and I think that employers should too!!! I have seen all sorts of muslim headcoverings and such at different work places and you know that the ultra conservative Jewish people would all be wearing their little skull caps!!! If you do decide to go without head covering…or a scarf type that would let more of your hair show…I like the basic cut that you have and it is a wonderful color…just go and get a fresh cut and enjoy!!!
Ruth Ann
Your hair is your crown
…be proud of it’s natural beauty 
…provided you take real good care of it day by day 
Your hair looks great, I dont think I’d be worrying about it, praying for you and your new job!
In Christs Love
Michelle~
If I am reading correctly, you are going to be working at Wendy’s?? If that is the case I would ask that you be allowed to wear one of their hats. No, it isn’t your usuall covering but it is a type of cover. I know of a lady here in MI that wore a hat while working at Wendy’s. Just thought it might be an option for you. Good Luck!
You look absolutely beautiful and I wouldn’t change anything about your style ~ it is lovely.
@patrickspeaches - they make everyone wear the visor or hat thing. So I don’t have to ask…that is a given
@Neeka1 - thanks
coming in late to the show here.. but…
I echo the thoughts about continuing to cover at work… if your conviction is to cover, don’t compromise for a job. Pray about this. God will provide.
I liked the simpler suggested coverings. … and ball cap idea is a good one. You’re still covered but you are in uniform.
Now, if you’ve decided you’re cool with your decision, you hair looks fine. Cute short cut.
I think your hair is quite pretty as is. However, I think something simple as a headband would do it and not be much fuss. Quite honestly I don’t think anyone is going to think much past that pretty smile
I love your hair just the way it is. It’s very pretty and simple. Blessings and prayers for your job hunt.
I love the color, maybe some highlights. I wouldn’t change much, you’re hair is very pretty. I have to dye mine almost black to make it more of my personality. Good luck!
I think your hair looks great the way it is. However, if you wanted to fix it up a bit, you could blow dry it and straighten it. But as I said, it looks fine the way it is.
I know others have already said this. You believe that a woman’s head must be covered? It is your conviction that that’s what Paul meant when he wrote to the Corinthians? Then wouldn’t you be violating your conscience to go somewhere uncovered? If you believe it’s wrong for women to be uncovered, or at the very least, for you yourself to be uncovered, then why is it okay for a few hours a day to ensure you get a job? Wouldn’t you be teaching your daughter that following God’s instructions is paramount, except sometimes? If you want to fit in better, then wear a different kind of head covering, as some have already suggested. A plain, solid-color scarf would be fine. I wouldn’t choose a long one, such as the ones you usually wear, because they draw more attention and potentially get in the way.
I don’t personally believe women have to wear a covering; I believe their hair is supposed to be their covering. But you believe it, and I don’t want you to violate your conscience for the sake of a job.
I think your hair is lovely the way it is and I agree with you that it might be best to leave your hair uncovered. Maybe after you get the job your employer will allow you to cover your hair.
@James3_1 - Where do you go to eat? Last time I went to Wendy’s the man that took my order was missing teeth and had an eye patch.
@MySecretLoveAffair - I agree with her style idea. That’s what I thought.
@bravegirl1986 - I guess I should reverse the question to you then
Are you not allowed to perhaps wear a kerchief underneath your hat? But I would suggest (if you have the choice between them) to wear the baseball cap instead of the visor to provide more of a covering. And, perhaps a simpler veil to get to work if you wish to have more covering than the hat to travel to work and change to your hat at work. I do hope you can find a way to follow your convictions while working. And perhaps you can keep on the lookout for a job somewhere else that will allow for religious tolerance. I have seen many Muslim women who are able to vary uniforms other places, and after getting a little experience it may help getting another job.
Much luck in the job hunt!
@Kristenmomof3 - LOL that was so funny! I hope not, too.
I don’t think I could work if my hijab/niqaab wasn’t allowed. That is something I do for God, and God will grant me something better if I don’t take the job for His Sake.
You’re hair is really nice, mashaAllaah. I don’t have a clue about hairstyling because I never do anything to my own. So, hopefully someone else will offer better advice. Best of luck! <3
it’s against the law to forbid headcovering. flat out. the covering can be made to fit the needs (ie: not flowing as not to get in the way of food or anything like that). it is against the law to forbid headcovering. if you’re looking for a great christian fast food place to work, have you tried chick fila? is there one nearby? I see headcovering people there a lot. some in skirts.
not to sound like a jerk, but i would really question myself if I was to that easily give up my headcovering at work. what is the point of only wearing it when not at work? why wear it at all? you make constant mention of how impotant covering is to you and now you show pics of you without it… and ou’re talking about getting a job and not covering. that’s very confusing to me. a conviction is ONLY a preference if it’s not played out during the hard times. you know what I mean? if you’re that easily going to shed that covering which you are convicted to wear, I wouldn’t think it’s much of a conviction. but just more of a general preference.
Ack. I feel for you. I’m going to message you some thoughts.
@HennyPenne - there is no chick-a-fila near here. I wish there was. I would love to try their food. I love chicken
I think you hair is great. I like the color of it. IF I were to suggest anything, it would be to maybe add some soft carmel highlights to it. But really, I think it’s fine just the way it is!! I do have a question though: Isn’t it against the law to discriminate against one’s religious beliefs when interviewing? It was when I was interviewing applicants! Just a thought. You are who you are. You believe what you believe. If head-coverings are part of your religious beliefs, I would say BE WHO YOU ARE! And from a sanitation side of things, a head covering keeps the hair from falling in my food. So I would be in favor of it, for many different reasons.
I love short hair – I am tempted to cut my that short again. I say grab some cute clips or barretts to dress it up if you are uncomfortable with going plain.
Wow, I think that cut and colour is adorable on you! I think you look great just as you are
@mandamom2many - Thanks Amanda
At Wendy’s they *want* your hair out of the way of the food. I think with hair as short as yours it would be remarkably easy to wear a small veil or short covering and put the Wendy’s hat over it. I doubt the Wendy’s manager would even notice, much less care, and I cannot imagine anyone taking issue with something that is not going to get them in trouble with the health department. Now, re: the pants and shirts, that’s an entirely different issue, but it sounds like it’s not really *your* issue. It sounds like you are mostly concerned with the head. Women wear buns and hair nets and all kinds of things just as fashion or for convenience. I know nothing about veils, so maybe the issue is that it has to be obvious, from the front that you are veiled? If the religious attitude about veiling just comes down to covering the head and neck, I think you could manage it pretty easily with a visor or ball cap and net or short veil.
They are not allowed to not hire you if you cover. That’s simply religious discrimination. Go to interviews veiling, and explain it to them. I would. Love ya!!
I am not really into veiling but there are some lighter versions of veiling somewhat like the French use that if coupled with the right outfit don’t come off as so right wing “religious” to those who are scared of religious veils. I think your hair is a wonderful color and the shortness is cute too. So either way should be fine for you. It is a bit sad that you have to choose between a job and the veil though. In our “free” country that just doesn’t seem right.
Im sure that you can find a job that might allow you to wear one, so long as you smile and sell your personality at an interview. Now, if you want to go unveiled, for the reasons you explained, you look great, but if you want you could assessorize with a headband or barrettes. You could always try out styles that fit you, but once again you dont need it, that would be completely for fun. =)
I actually think it looks quite good and professional as it is. Color is fine.
Good luck with the job
@Job_One_21 - I already had the first interview. Had to agree to dress code to get second interview. Wouldnt have gotten second interview otherwise. (Probably why there are no mennonites working at wendys lol)
I told Barry I want to move. I would love to move….we just cant right now. If we could I would be out of here tomorrow.
Even just moving 30 minutes east I would be close to an area that has Muslims, Hispanics and Blacks and is more “open minded” to different people. Here you are either expected to dress following the dress code like everyone else everywhere unless you are mennonite/Amish (and if you are one of them you normally work at the places that other Mennonites/Amish own)
@echois23 - Here you are either expected to dress following the dress code like everyone else everywhere unless you are Mennonite/Amish (and if you are one of them you normally work at the places that other Mennonites/Amish own)
@GermanWrench Good points. My husband says the same thing. He says as an unconverted person, he could find any woman appealing no matter how much she covered up; as a Christian who strives to keep his thoughts in the right place, he is not fixating on every female within ten feet of him. In fact, he thinks a lot of “Christian” men who are obsessed with the whole ‘women’s bodies/modesty’ thing are simply using that as a religious cover to discuss a subject they secretly enjoy focusing on. He thinks women should dress sensibly and not try to look like they’re advertising; but he does not find jeans or slacks any more “alluring” then dress or skirt, unless they are very form-fitting. After all, what do women wear to special occasions when they want to be really attractive? Form-fitting DRESSES! My point is, a certain article of clothing is not so much the issue as HOW the piece of clothing fits you- whether it covers or displays. (I don’t wear jeans/slacks, but I’m not saying I never would/will; I do not look down on Christian women who do
I really think a truly converted Christian will take modesty seriously, but not let it become a consuming fixation upon which their faith is based. Our works should spring forth out of Christianity, our works do not produce Christianity.
@Kristenmomof3 - I want you to move.
But my plan is for you to come here. 
@Kristenmomof3 - oh… sorry. You said you need the job so I hope it goes well for you.
@Job_One_21 - I wanna … Sounds fun
Can you imagine if we lived close… Yeah Baby
@Kristenmomof3 - That would be AWESOME!!!!
@Job_One_21 - yeah, it would
Look Kristen listen to yourself and not us. Unfortunately if you really WANT a job and NEED a job you need to do what you need to do to get it. Headcover or no headcover. I never covered when I worked. I covered coming in and leaving with a snood but never in the office. First off I do not want to stand out from everyone else. Plus certain jobs it’s a SAFETY concern really. I hate when I hear people say “I would NEVER do that” ow really so if your veil get’s caught in the mixer and pulls you in with it lets talk then. I don’t think that those people saying that really don’t get WHY an employ may have issues. It’s a liability for the company and being a business owner I know what that can cost a company.
So you do what you think will get you the job. Now is not the time to get all wish washy about the headcovering. You are in a difficult situation and you need to do what it takes!
i like your hair. But I wouldn’t take my veil off. It’s my religion . and I pray to much all throughout the day to not have one on ever. Actually i seem to get more people that respect me when I wear one than when I didn’t. They act different with me.
It’s your decision, but I would not take it off. I feel completely (wrong) without it. (naked) if you will. HEHE
Still keeping my fingers crossed for you and boy are they starting to hurt like that. = -)
Mousse is always good to bring out some curls. Just get a little and rub it through your hair. =D