November 24, 2009
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BDSM: Is it a sin?
I would like to hear your thoughts on BDSM
BDSM is a compound acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&s, D/s, or Ds), sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM).POLL
BDSM is it a sin?
A.Yes. Only dirty sinners do that
B. No.
C. Other (Explain)
Comments (55)
B!!! =D
i believe there is a verse in the bible that says all sexual acts are condoned between a married couple (man and woman). so i choose c-it’s only a sin between two unmarried partners.
Hmm. If BDSM is outside the marriage it’s a sin, if it is practiced inside a marriage it is not a son. That’s at least how I would vote if I was using the Bible, or something.
My own opinion is that I do not believe in ‘sins’ in a religious way. If people are consenting adults, “Do What Thou Wilt”
…..B?
Based on how much my pastor preaches about submission in marriage, I would guess no.
B
No such thing as sin. You should know that!
Yes, what @soyeahthatswhathappened - said.
“christ”
I believe it is a sin, from a number of standpoints. For one thing, it doesn’t honor the body as the temple of the Holy Spirit. It’s also rooted in hurts and traumas people have experienced. God does not treat us in that way; it is a perversion of relationships. I wouldn’t condemn those who are attracted to that because I believe it comes from a place of deep wounding, a place I’ve been myself.
I see it as coming from a very similar place to self-harm, which I also believe is a sin. In both cases, I believe the solution is not finger-pointing and yelling, but experiences with the radically healing and tender love of Christ.
I cannot believe that Jesus would have ever self-harmed or participated in bondage activities, or that a Christian who is whole emotionally would either. I believe God’s desire for us is to be at peace and to realize our worth in every area, including sexually, not to constantly do things that cause pain or simulate trauma. That doesn’t mean Christian couples can’t be creative and have fun, but I believe there is a horrible darkness to bondage that is from Satan himself and that God wants to free people from it and show them how to experience love in a healthy and affirming way.
I could write a lot on this, but I’ll stop there
Edit: It’s easy to say all sex acts between married couples are condoned by Scripture, but God’s way is never degrading and painful and dark. As our heavenly spouse, He never treats us in that way, and He is our model for marriage. Being attracted to bondage means a person is unhealthy emotionally.
I’m with Da__Vinci no Hell no Sin no problem to begin with.
I’m interested to see the results! Given that I’m not religious though, I don’t think I can vote. I remember reading a page about it at the website Sex in Christ, and thinking it was an interesting perspective.
B
@Pickwick12 - I think you are missing the point of BDSM. Pain (for lack of a better word) is a feeling that enhances the sexual encounter of a couple. In most cases BDSM doesn’t do permanent damage to your body.
Think of it like satisfying a craving for a burger or a piece of cake.
@pandoratheexplorer - I know. My point was that in most cases I believe there is something unhealthy in that desire. I’m speaking from a Christian perspective, not one I’d expect others to agree with.
Anything between a husband and wife that both want to do is permissible, I think.
No
BDSM wrong yes-it’s humiliating, it’s hurtful to the person being controlled, it often carries over to other obnoxious and hurtful sexual issues. My ex husband forced me into that lifestyle and it was truly emotionally damaging, painful and caused hard issues for me to overcome in my current marriage as far as sexual intimacy. I struggled to trust him to not hurt me and even if the pain were unintentional, it caused me to shut down emotinonally.
HOWEVER………allowing pain or “alternative sexual practices” such as light bondage or sex toys in a marital relationship I do NOT see as wrong. IF it’s between 2 consenting adults. Also, the concept of domestic discipline I don’t see as a sin. The laying down of rules for a family, the husband enforcing them, even to spanking the wife on the bottom if she is disobedient, or the use of alternative methods of punishment or discipline, such as corner time, writing of lines, “grounding” and so on.
@TheTheologiansCafe - HA!
I don’t know. Everything is a sin including being alive and breathing.
b
@Pickwick12 - I am not sure what’s unhealthy about BDSM, christian or otherwise.
I think it’s also widely believe that Jesus didn’t have sex, yet christian couples do that a lot. Without trying to troll, I think one should note that Jesus chose to endure a lot of BDSM-like suffering to save mankind…
Living a christian lifestyle doesn’t mean one must be stoic or void of feelings. Your assesment makes me feel like any activity that isn’t mainstream, could be consisdered unhealthy and thus sinful.
I understand that BDSM is different, but a just because a person engages in BDSM doesn’t mean they are emotionally incomplete or less christian.
@CrunchyMountainMomma - how would you distinguish BDSM and abuse? forcing someone to do something they don’t enjoy to humiliate them or harm them, i think, is abuse, not BDSM.
Mutually agree upon by a married couple, No… not a sin. Any sexual contact outside a marriage is considered sin.
@pandoratheexplorer - I could go for some cake
As long as the people involved are married (to each other, of course) and both are willing participants, it is not a sin.
I vote B (:
@WhenHateIsTheOnlyOption - lol. I totally agree with that. Everything is a sin. Humans, by our very natures, are all sinners. I think as long as it is between consenting adults and no one is inflicting UNWANTED pain on anyone else, whatever you do to get off is yours and Gods business and no one elses. He is the only one you’re going to have to answer to anyway.
It’s been a long time since i engaged in any sort of religious reading, so i’m not quite clear on what makes something a sin or not. I don’t recall anything in the ten commandments about BDSM, but then I don’t recall anything about rape, either, so that’s apparently not a clear-cut guideline. so i guess my answer is C. I think it’s a sin, but i can’t really justify in what way it is a sin, and if it is a sin i don’t care because i don’t think it should be, so i thus conclude that it’s not.
PS: if you come up with an actual answer to this question, let me know. Somehow, it feels like it’s something I should be guilty about, and yet i’m really not.
B.
The degradation of another human being for pleasure. Is it sin? Which of us would like to have been conceived during such an event? Playing in the bedroom is one thing, hurting each other abusively in way seems to obviously go beyond the question of sin, and you may notice the people that see nothing wrong with it are also seeing a lot with wrong being a Christian in the first place.
B–no, of course not.
It’s a sin only if you’re into guilty religious pleasures and not wearing a nun outfit.
A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A.
B!
Romans 14:23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because [he eateth] not of faith: for whatsoever [is] not of faith is sin.
I suppose the correct question is “What is love?” The word “charity” is “love” in the King James Bible and love is patient, kind and love seeks not its own.
1 Cor. 13:4 Charity (love) suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity (love) envieth not; charity (love) vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
According to Merriam Webster’s online dictionary, Sadism isn’t kind, it seeks its own and cruelty is the opposite.
“1 : a sexual perversion in which gratification is obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on others (as on a love object) — compare masochism
2 a : delight in cruelty b : excessive cruelty”
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/SADISM
We’re supposed to be conformed to a person and an image:
Romans 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate [to be] conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
How does inflicting emotional or physical pain on someone conform us to the image or person of God?
What was God’s original intent for man?
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
What does cleaving mean? I suppose it means to stay with or to cling.
Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
What is lasciviousness? Jesus said in Matthew 7:22-23 that it is one of the things which defiles the man. The topic may mean different things to different people but there is a line between romantic love between a man and a woman and that which God hasn’t designed. What God has designed is perfect and that which God hasn’t designed is probably filthy or lascivious.
Galatians 5:24 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
There is more I could say on the matter as there are more words I can use from the Bible but being cruel is not Christ like.
B.
it’s only a sin if youre not married to your partner, i think.
I’d like to point out that this is lumping BDSM together and people might think some parts of the acronym are okay and some not. Bondage and Discipline and Domination and Submission are different in a crucial way from Sadism and Masochism. These are separate categories we’re talking about. They are related because it seems that you can’t really have the SM without the BD. However, as my Human Sexuality textbook pointed out (I obviously paid way too much attention in that class), here’s the difference: BD’s goal is not to inflict or receive pain or suffering. It’s more about dominance or control or submission and many practicers allegedly go to great lengths to prevent hurt. A lot of people hear “Bondage” and automatically think pain and suffering (I did before I took Human Sexuality) but that’s not quite the case.
I don’t see the appeal of either BD or SM myself, but even though the poster clarified what each part of it is, we’re possibly going to be talking on different planes depending on what we think of when we hear BDSM. I’m glad God is the judge because I really don’t know, although I think BD is less likely to be a sin than SM.
Is dominance, control or submission “Christian”? Is it co-dependency?
John 20:17 Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and [to] my God, and your God.
haptomai
1) to fasten one’s self to, adhere to, cling to
Jesus didn’t come to be served but to serve. And really, we’re only supposed to serve God (Matthew 4:10).
If they’re both into it, then no.
You people are great! XD
Nah, behavior like this, so long as between consenting adults, it’s no kinda sin.
Set some well defined parameters for sin and you might get a proper answer. Since sin is such a wishy washy term though, varying wildly from person to person as well as religion to religion and even the variations thereupon, BSDM cannot be defined as such because there isn’t a definition to base any assertions upon.
Religion shouldn’t be sticking its nose in the same places sex toys go anyways. It’s really not their place to judge.
It is a sin if real leather is mixed with vinyl or other artificial fabric during the BDSM. Either stay Old School, or go Modern, but don’t send mixed signals.
B. But it must be mutually consensual.
@pandoratheexplorer - I disagree, but I appreciate your explanation of your views.
sin is a concept in religion, no?
so, to answer the question, i’d probably say, “according to which religion/teaching?”
Since BDSM is incredibly complex and different for every individual I would choose C. Speaking from a Biblical standpoint, some aspects would be sinful, some would not. If none of the sinful aspects are involved, then no, it would not be sin. You could have the most vanilla (non BDSM) sexual encounter possible but if it is between unmarried people or if one of the participants is not willing, then it is sin (and in the case of the latter it’s wrong from a non-biblical standpoint as well). On the other hand you could have a very BDSM sexual encounter and between married and willing partners it can be loving, comforting and completely within Biblical boundaries. It’s very easy to look at an issue that you do not fully understand and come to inaccurate conclusions. There are things that I do not fully understand and unless I want to spend the time looking into the matter I cannot call it right OR wrong, you simply cannot make an accurate judgement on a subject you do not understand very well. In fact, there are aspects of BDSM that are flat out COMMENDED in the Bible!
“Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” -1 Peter 3:6-
I use a different title for my husband than lord, but the sentiment is the same. That’s just one small example. BDSM is not a single item that can be covered with a blanket “Yes it is sin” or “No it isn’t” . That’s like looking at a huge buffet and saying in one word whether everything in it is good. The chop suey could be amazing but the chow mien could be horrible! It’s a play by play thing (or should I say scene by scene
)
@mandamom2many - great comment
A.
C. Sin is a concept made up by man-made religions to keep the ducks in line. Hence, there’s no such thing as “sin,” except within the framework of religious oppression.
I personally would not participate in BDSM because it is not for me. Sex shouldn’t be hurtful (at least intentionally).
But I know that paeople claim that BDSM enhances their sex life because they enjoy the pain. Again, being liberal, if people choose BDSM, that is their problem. But, I wouldn’t ever want to participate in things like that.
B.
I don’t believe in any gods, but I am bothered by sadism. Makes me question the mental health of someone who honestly enjoys the idea of hurting someone. But, I honestly don’t care what people do as long as it doesn’t come back on me in a negative way.
Ephesians 4:17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking.
Ephesians 4:18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.
Ephesians 4:19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
(C) NIV
What is the “lust for more”? If these desires aren’t sin (BDSM) then what desires are sinful? If you say “This isn’t sinful” then what sensuality or impurity can be sinful? If your definition of sin is too low then you can’t sin until God calls you on it though it is sin.