Month: September 2011

  • “IT”: A Poem Confronting Trans-Hate

     

    “you wanna be peter pan. 
    you wanna be that fairy-dusted disaster that conquers hook and slays pirates because that’s what strong boys do. 
    but they gave you… a dress, and a name to match, and a lot of pink stuff you’d never play with. 
    you loved action figures just as much as dolls (yeah you love dolls, don’t lie) 
    you don’t walk like a lady though. 
    you flunked ballet class. 
    you can’t go, it’s boys only, 
    don’t wear swimming trunks wear a bathing suit 
    you’re too old to be a tomboy GROW UP. 
    you can’t fly, you never will. 
    even days when you’re wearing the perfect clothes 
    people will stare and say “is that a girl or a boy?” 
    and you smile to yourself because today, 
    maybe you might just pass, 
    but then you see their eyes register no facial hair, 
    no knot in your throat, no bulge in your pants, they say it again. louder, tauntingly, “IS THAT A GIRL OR A BOY?” 
    this time they know and they just wanna see you squirm 
    and you do and they snicker and give you that look that says, “you aren’t human here.” 
    you’re stuck with the body you’ve got and the gender you don’t 
    there’s no fairy dust 
    no flying away 
    no childhood dreams 
    so you’re doing the best you can. 
    you rock your indecisive parts proudly, 
    but there are days when you can be shattered by a quick tongue, 
    days when men argue about the lines of your body and then one says, “it’s got tits.” 
    IT, 
    because you’re not worthy of any other title. 
    days when girls will hate you for what you are 
    whatever you are 
    you aren’t human here. 
    but i’ve got tits. 
    so on that day when he said to me, 
    “i don’t care if you’re gay i’d still fuck the shit out of you” 
    i should’ve been willing, right? 
    but i wasn’t, 
    so i walked faster trying to escape his leering face, 
    the look of malice in his eyes that i’ve seen in so many other men 
    “i’ll fuck you straight, girl.” 
    i don’t know how much of a girl 
    i am but at that moment i wished i had the knuckle strength of men… 
    but i don’t so i left my pride in this throat, 
    i would try to glue myself back together for tomorrow 
    because there are always gonna be days like this. 
    days when you have to carry your somber heart like a coffin, 
    days when you pass until you slip and let your words fall from your mouth carried by a feminine voice and they know again. 
    know that you’re not a him, or a her, but something in between, not human to them. 
    what an abomination. what a monster. 
    why can’t you be normal with your dress, your boyfriend, your virginity? 
    they wanna paint you the color of smashed hymens. 
    they want you to know that naked, you will always be soft like a woman; 
    naked, you will always have the parts of a woman, 
    you, IT, your telltale breasts 
    you will NEVER be one of those strong boys. 
    you are far from peter pan but learn to hold your back like a flagpole, 
    it’s all you’ve got out there. 
    there’s no neverland.”

  • Transgender Glossary Terminology and Definitions

    ANDROGYNE : (Androgynous) and (Androgyny) Person who has gender traits of both masculine and feminine. Lacking of a clear or specified singular gender trait. Person identifies as both genders or neither of the two culturally defined genders; and/or who expresses and/or presents merged culturally / stereotypically feminine and masculine characteristics, or mainly neutral characteristics. may or may not express dual gender identity.

    ASSIGNED GENDER ROLE: At birth, an assigned gender is determined by appearance of sexual anatomy. This determines the role
    a child is raised in either Male or Female. Documented by a doctor who assists in the birth.

    BI-GENDERED : Person who can shift between masculine and feminine gender behaviour. This differes from the Androgyne in that an Androgyne keeps their gender role at all times whereas Bi-Gendered shift or change their role to suit the situation at that moment.

    BINARY GENDER SYSTEM : Culturally defined code of acceptable behaviors, teaching that there can only be Male or Female roles. Where it comes to Transgendered Individuals this system becomes flawed, as Transgendred Individuals fall under a multi-gendered system, beyond the Binary Gender System.

    BIND : (Binding) To Wrap or tape the Female Breast Tissue to make it appear to be flat like a Male Chest area. Action is performed by Female-to-Male Transsexuals. This is also performed by use of a binder, which is a rigid corset like item designed to flatten the female breast tissue so as to make it seem like a male chest area.

    BIPHOBIA : (also Homophobia) The irrational fear of love, affection, and erotic behavior between people of the same gender. Expressed as negative feelings, attitudes, actions or behaviors against those perceived as non-heterosexuals. Often directed at those perceived as expressing or presenting culturally stereotypically non-heterosexual characteristics and or blurred gender roles. Biphobia also includes refuting the existance of bisexuality by believing every individual is either homosexual or heterosexual.

    BISEXUAL : (Bi) A person who is emotionally, Sexually, Spiritually, or Physically attracted to persons from both the Male and Female Genders.

    BOTTOM SURGERY : Term used for Genital Surgery performed below the waist. Term is most often used by Female-to-Male persons and referring to creation of a penis and simulated testicals in their case. Term is also used by some Male-to-Female persons for the surgery to create a neo vagina. Not all Transsexual persons from either case opt for this surgery. For some due to cost, some due to health, some simply due to personal choice.

    BOYDYKE : A “Female bodied” person who intentionally or non-intentionally presents or expresses what is culturally sterotypical Male or masculine, boyish characteristic. Some wish to pass as a Male while remaining Female.

    BREAST AUGMENTATION SURGERY : (BA) This surgery technically known as augmentation mammoplasty, is a surgical procedure to enhance the size and shape of a woman’s breast. The Male-to-Female individual may seek Breast Augmentation if they desire a larger bust size than is achieved through hormone therapy. Standard augmentation involves one or the other of two types of implants, either Saline or Silicone.

    BREAST FORMS/BREAST ENHANCERS : Often an individual who is a Cross Dresser or a Male-to-Female Transsexual will use a Breast Form such as those made for and most often used by ladies who have had Mastectomies performed due to cancer. Most of these consist of Silicone shaped to look like a female breast and to have weight like a genuine natal breast would have. Also, there are some forms made out of foam rubber, which while giving a general appearance of a breast do not have the weighted bounce effect of a silicone breast form. Some MTF whom have achieved some breast growth via hormones but are not satisfied with size of their breasts, opt for a breast enhancer such as the style that go in the bra below the breasts to sort of push up the breasts and make them appear larger than they in reality are.

    BUTCH : Term used to describe or identify a person who often self identifies or presents and expresses what is culturally sterotypical Male or masculine, boyish characteristics. Term can be used in both positive and negative ways.

    CD : (Cross Dresser) : Person who wears clothing and items normally worn by the opposite gender from their own biological gender. An outdated older term for a CD is the term Transvestite. The majority of persons who CD are of heterosexual orientation, many even being happily married. However, there are also many whom are of a Gay orientation. While for some this is a way of simply experiencing a temporary role as the opposite gender in which they feel free from the rigours of their day to day life in their assigned gender, for others this also presents a sense of auto arousal by the wearing or the clothing of the oposite gender.

    CHONDROLARYNGOPLASTY : Surgery involving Adam’s Apple Reduction or Trachea Shave. The surgeon reduces the cartilage in the throat to make the shape more feminine.

    CIS-SEXUAL : Person who is not Transgendered and has one of the two Binary Genders as simply either Male or Female.

    CLOCKED : (Getting Read) Being detected as a person who is cross-dressed.

    COLOVAGINOPLASTY : This method of creating a vagina for the Male-to-Female individual, involves cutting away a section of the sigmoid colon and using it to form a vaginal lining. This surgery is also sometimes performed on females with androgen insensitivity syndrome, congenital adrenal hyperplasia, or vaginal agenesis, Mayer-Rokitansky syndrome, and other intersexed conditions, where non-invasive forms of lengthening the vagina cannot be done and, mostly, it is used on Male-to-Female transsexuals as an alternative to penile inversion with or without an accompanying skin graft taken usually from either the thigh or abdomen. Due to numerous potential complications most surgeons will use or recommend a colovaginoplasty method only when there is no other alternative. The use of this on Male-to-Female patients is generally reserved for those whom have attempted removal of their Male genitals and have made the general standard recognizable Reassignment Surgery methods unusable..

    COMING OUT : The process of becoming aware of, understanding and accepting one’s own sexual orientation or gender identity. This also consists of the decision making process of identifying oneself openly in disclosure of this to another.

    Conversion Therapy : Dangerous attempt to “Cure” Homosexuals or Transsexuals by Homophobic Religious groups. Loosly based on Reparative therapy declared outmoded by the American Psychiatric Association. Practice usually done by unlicensed Church “Counselors”. Methods used include extreme guilt, hellfire, Bible text, non-acceptance and damnation. Electrodes often placed on genitals to measure reactions. Church members are more interested in their own homophobic fears than the welfare of their patients. As one Exodus “Counselor” told a Gay man “You would be better off to commit suicide than go back to the homosexual lifestyle”. What therapy encourages death as an alternative? Upon completion members must sign a statement they have been “cured”. There are few long term followups and members questioned later often admit lying to their questioners. “Cures” are almost always short term and for transgender people amount to nothing more than temporary Purging. The danger afterwards is increased suicide attempts as evidenced by users in our crisis rooms here. This therapy is not recommended as it is dangerous and deadly.

    CORSET : A corset is a very constrictive ladies undergarment worn by some Cross Dressers and Male-to-Female Transsexuals in an atempt to mold and shape their torso into a desired Female shape for the aesthetic purposes of more readily appearing curvy and Female, by reducing the waist, and thereby lifting the bust if any and more readily showing the hips. There are some corset tops which are designed with a mini corset as an outer part of the garment. Often these are designed to cater to goth cultural fashions. Historically a corset has lacing to hold it together at the back. Sometimes it is at the front instead. Tightening or loosening the lacing produces changes in how firm or rigid the corset will be. Most full size corsets with back lacing are almost impossible to be properly laced by the wearer alone, thus normally requiring a second person to tighten the lacing and tie it off. Button or hook front busks on some corsets allow a wearer to remove them without untieing them and re-place them on their body at a later date all by themself. It should be noted however, that this process can seriously damage the busk of the corset. This is because it is under extreme pressure in most cases. Corsets are most often comprised of flexible materials such as coutil cloth, or leather and stiffened with boning also referred to as ribs or stays, inserted into channels in the cloth or leather. Plastic is now the most commonly used material in lightweight corsets, whereas spring or spiral steel is preferred for stronger corsets. Corsets preferably should be fitted to the individual wearer.

    CROSS-LIVING : Act of cross dressing full time 24/7 living in the role of the opposite gender full time, perceiving oneself as the opposite gender but not transsexual as the person does not wish to physically change gender.

    DE-TRANSITION : To return to living as a member of one’s biological sex after extended full time living as one’s target sex.

    DRAG : (F : Drag King, M : Drag Queen, Female or Male Impersonator) Individuals who exaggerate cross dressed gender roles often for purposes of performances at gatherings or on stage. Some Drag Queens even get breast implants to help with their performance role. Some live the role full time.

    DYKE : (Femme Dyke, Bi Dyke, Butch Dyke) Terms used from both negative view and positive view. A “female-body” person or woman identifying with other women as their interest. Historically the terminology was used in the negative to identify lesbians expressing male culturally stereotypically masculine characteristics, but has been used in the positive view of self identification by many modern lesbians. (Femme) more feminine version. (Bi) may show some interest in men but is primarily interested in women. (Butch) Acts more male like and is normally only interested in women.

    EFFEMINATE : Term used often in negative context, to identify a person usually of male origin who expresses or presents what are stereotypically culturally feminine characteristics.

    ENDO(CRINOLOGIST) : A doctor who deals with the endocrine glands and their hormones. This doctor is the one who prescribes estrogen and progesterone in one form or another for the Male-to-Female individual, and prescribes testosterone for the Female-to-Male individual. This is also the doctor who monitors the persons endocrinological functions on hormones via bloodwork.

    F2M / FTM : (Female-to-Male) Term used to identify a person of Female Biological birth whom identifies as Male. Lives in the Male role and identifies as Masculine. Most will try for Testosterone to take on Male secondary sexual characteristics. Most opt for Top Surgery to reduce the Female Breasts to Male size. Some opt for the Hysterectomy and Bottom Surgery involving creation of a penis from the clitoris and creation of a scrotum with testicular shaped implants. Some do not go for bottom surgery for reasons ranging from cost, health, or personal choice. Many prefer the newer term Transman.

    FAG : Derogatory Term that historically has been used in the negative by society, but is also positively used as a self identifier by some persons. A Male bodied person or Man who identifies with other Men as their attraction. Historically used in negative context of labeling Gay Males who express or present a cutural stereotipically Feminine set of characteristics.

    FEMALE BODIED : (FemBody) A person who was assigned to Female Gender at birth, or whom has had their genitals surgically altered to be a woman or girl, either by personal choice or often by parental choice in many cases of an intersexxed child.

    FEMME : Term used for a person whom identifies with being a woman, who understands the power and seduction of the feminine spirit, and or one whom is powerful as a woman. Can be used to identify a person whom expresses and or presents culturally stereotypically feminine characteristics. Dependant on context, it may be used as a positive or a negative term.

    GAFF : A type of panty designed to hide the male bulge by tucking it away in a pocket or pouch within it so as to hold the penis between the legs giving the appearance that there is no penis at all. This item is often worn by individuals who Cross Dress, or by Pre-Op Male-to-Female Transsexuals.

    GAY : Term used to describe a person whom is emotionally, spiritually or physically attracted primarily to persons of the same gender. A person (normally a male) whom accepts same gender attraction and identifies as gay.

    GENDER BENDER : (Gender Blender) Term used for a person who merges characteristics of all genders either in subtle ways or whom intentionally flaunts merged or blurred cultural stereotipical gender norms for purpose of shocking others, without a concern for passing.

    GENDER IDENTITY : An inner sense that one is or belongs to a particular sex.

    GENDER COMMUNITY : (Transgender Community) A loose association of individuals and organizations who transgress gender norms in a variety of ways. Celebrating a recently born self awareness, this community is growing fast across all lines. The central ethic of this community is unconditional acceptance of individual exercise of freedoms including gender and sexual identity and orientation.

    GENDER PHOBIA : (Transphobia) The irrational fear of those who are perceived to break and or blur cultural stereotypical gender roles, often assumed to be queer. Expressed as negative feelings, attitudes, actions or behaviors against those perceived as breaking and or blurring cultural stereotypical gender roles.

    GENDER QUEER : Term which is used by some individuals whom may or may not fit on the spectrum of Trans, or be labeled as Trans, but whom identify their gender and sexual orientation to be outside the assumed norm.

    GENDER REASSIGNMENT SURGERY : (GRS, Sex Reassignment Surgery-SRS) : Permanent surgical refashioning of genetalia to resemble the genetalia of the desired gender. Sought to attain congruence between one’s body and one’s gender identity.

    GENDER ROLES : What one’s society and culture says that Males and Females are like. The socially constructed and culturally specific behavior and appearance expectations imposed on Females (femininity) and Males (masculinity).

    Gender Therapist : Licensed Therapist who follows the HBIGDA (Wpath) Transgender Standards of Care. Encourages legal prescription hormone use prescribed usually by an Endocrinoligist with a letter recommendation by the therapist. Obtaining horomones illegally without medical testing can and has led to death most notably from “Thrombobis” or dangerous blood clots. The therapist provides guidance during RLE and provides recommendation letter for GRS. Many object to HBIGDA as “Gatekeeping” However it is the safest alternative now available.

    GENETIC SEX : Term used to refer to chromosomal makeup of a individual. Often used to refer to assigned gender at birth.

    GETTING READ : (Clocked) Being detected as a person who is cross-dressed.

    HERMAPHRODITE : Outdated term for an Intersexxed person. (see Intersexxed below in list.).

    HETEROFLEXIBLE : (straight-ish, homo-flexible). Individuals who are mostly attracted to another gender, but have had or are open to having same sex relationships or behaviors.

    HETEROSEXUAL : An individual who is emotionally, spiritually, physically, and or sexually attracted to those of the opposite gender.

    HETEROSEXISM : The institutionalized assumption that everyone is heterosexual and that heterosexualism is inherently superior to and preferable to homosexuality or bisexuality.

    HIR : A gender term used by some in place of Him or Her, a new pronoun for those folks who stand outside the binary gender system that we have in society.

    HOMOPHOBIA : (also Biphobia) The irrational fear of love, affection, and erotic behavior between people of the same gender. Expressed as negative feelings, attitudes, actions or behaviors against those perceived as non-heterosexuals. Often directed at those perceived as expressing or presenting culturally stereotypically non-heterosexual characteristics and or blurred gender roles. Biphobia also includes refuting the existance of bisexuality by believing every individual is either homosexual or heterosexual.

    HOMOSEXUAL : An individual who is emotionally, spiritually or physically attracted primarily to persons of the same gender.

    HORMONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY : (HRT, Hormonal Sex Reassignment). Administration of hormones to affect the development of secondary sex characteristics of the opposite assigned gender. This process that is lifelong, of using hormones to change the internal body chemistry. For Male to Female Estrogens are used, and for Female to Male Androgens are used (Testosterone). Hormone use without medical supervision is strongly discouraged as it has resulted in thousands of Transgender deaths. Herbal concotions taken in large doses not approved by the FDA have also resulted in deaths and disabilty as well as having poor results. Don’t be fooled by herbal companies marketing to transgenders for profit with exaggerated claims. Save your money for prescription hormones.

    HYSTERECTOMY : Operation performed to remove the Uterus. In cases of the Female-to-Male individual this operation also includes removal of the Cervix, Ovaries, and Fallopian tubes.

    IN THE CLOSET : Not disclosing, (referenced to coming out) Being secretive about an individual’s own sexual orientation and or gender identity.

    INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA/TRANSPHOBIA : The belief that same-gender sexual orientation and or gender identity is inferior to heterosexual orientation and or masculine or feminine gender identity. The internalization of negative messages, feelings about oneself and one’s group, and beliefs about how people like you should be treated, which often leads to self-hate and difficulty with self-acceptance. Also irrational fear of breaking cultural or stereotypical gender roles.

    INTERSEX(XED) : An individual born with full or partial genetalia of both genders, or with underdeveloped genitalia. Some are born with internal organs of a Female with no external signs of Female but with Male external genitalia. Surgery is common in infancy, when a singular gender is assigned. Many who are assigned such without self choice develop a sense or feeling of a loss of (an) essential part(s) of themself. Often the person so assigned to one sex by surgery in infancy wishes to be the gender opposite the one chosen for them.

    LABIAPLASTY : This surgery for the Male-to-Female individual is normally only needed in cases where a surgeon uses a two-stage vaginoplasty procedure.It is the stage where labia and the clitoral hood are created.

    LESBIAN : A person who identifies as a woman who is emotionally, spiritually, physically, and or sexually attracted primarily to members of the same gender. A Female who accepts her same gender attraction and identifies as lesbian.

    M2F, MTF, MALE-TO-FEMALE : Term used to identify a person who was Male gendered at birth but whom identifies as Female, lives as a Woman, or identifies as Feminine. Some prefer the term Transwoman.

    MALE BODIED : A person who was assigned to Male gender at birth, or a person who has had their genitals surgically altered to be a man.

    MAMMAPLASTY : A surgery performed to increase or shrink the size of the breasts. (See BREAST AUGMENTATION SURGERY, above).

    MAMMOGRAM : (Mammography) A cancer screening performed on Females. This screening is one which individuals whom are Male-to-Female transsexuals should partake of yearly after 40 years of age. It involves x-raying of the breast tissues for earliest detection of breast tumors before they can be otherwise seen or felt.

    MASTECTOMY : The surgical removal of the Female breast tissue. For Female-to-Male Transsexuals. This surgery which is often referred to as top surgery, allows the individual to no longer have need of a binder, (See Bind, above) as from that point on the individual has Male sized breasts. This surgery is also performed on natal Females in cases of cancer.

    METAMORPH : (Shape Shifter) Used by some people who choose not to identify as transsexual, to express their belief that they are not changing their gender, but rather changing their body to reflect their inner feelings and gender identity.

    METAOIDIOPLASTY : This surgery for the Female-to-Male individual involves the freeing of the enlarged clitoris/penis from the underlying labia minora and dropping it via release of the suspensory ligament.

    NEOCLITORIS : The created clitoris for a Male-to-Female Transsexual individual during Sex Reassignment Surgery. There are two ways to create a neoclitoris for the transsexual woman. The most common method is to remove the head or glans of the penis, and use some of that tissue to function in the position of a natal female’s clitoris. Some transsexual women have the entire penis head used as their clitoris. This partly depends on the doctor performing the surgery. Some have spongiform from their urethra’s used to function as the neoclitoris. Most transsexual women’s bodies readily accept the relocation of glans penile tissue in the area of a biological woman’s clitoris.

    NON-LABELING : Individuals who find the existing labels too constrictive and or choose not to identify within a particular category.

    NON-OP : Individuals who have not attained and may not desire to attain gender reassignment surgery, and may or may not take hormone replacement therapy. For many individuals, self-identification and self expression, through cross living or other methods of gender identity achieve harmony or congruence between one’s body and one’s gender identity and there is no need felt for surgical reconstruction. Or in some cases it is for medical reasons that one is forced to remain non-op. Also there are some for whom monitary reasons prevent the surgery thus making them remain in a non-op mode either temporarily or for extended periods of time and in many cases for life.

    OBGYN(ECOLOGIST) : (gynecology) A doctor trained in the branch of medicine dealing with treatment of diseases of the female reproductive system, including the breasts. After Sex Reassignment Surgery, many Male-to-Female trans opt to visit a OBGYN to have the doctor check that they are healing correctly. Also it is recommended that the MTF Post Op visit an gynecologist at least once yearly to be sure that she is healthy. While the MTF on has no cervix or uterus it is always possible to get cancer of the vagina. This type of doctor can make sure that the MtF PostOp individual is checked foer this in the yearly checkup.

    OMNISEXUAL : A term used along with Pansexual. (See Pansexual below.).

    ORCHIECTOMY : Surgery to remove the testes. This is opted for by some Male-to-Female individuals in order to reduce testosterone and stop the need for testosterone blocking medicines. This procedure can be used as both a step towards Reassignment Surgery or as a final procedure for those individuals who do not desire GRS.

    PACK : Item placed in the underwear of a FTM Pre-Op to suggest the prescence of a penis there. Some use a rolled up sock or a dildo to produce this effectively.

    PANSEXUAL : An individual who is emotionally, spiritually, physically, and or sexually attracted to those of any gender or physical makeup. (also sometimes referred to as omni-sexual, flexual, or multi-sexual).

    PASSING : The ability for a person to present themselves in another gender than that which they live full time or which they were assigned at birth.

    PHALLOPLASTY : Operation for construction of a Male genitalia (penis). Some procedures involve flaps of skin taken from the groin and abdomen, but more recent versions of this surgery involve the free forearm flap method of which involves a segment of skin from the forearm being bisected and used to form the penis. This method allows for sensitivity during intercourse in the constructed penis, as well as standing urination.

    PRE-OP(ERATIVE) : individuals whom have not yet attained gender reassignment surgery, but whom desire to and are seeking that option. They may or may not cross-live full time and may or may not take hormone therapy. They may also seek surgery to change secondary sexual characteristics.

    POST-OP(ERATIVE) : individuals who have attained gender reassignment surgery, and or other surgeries to change secondary sex characteristics.

    PRESENTATION : The totality of one’s appearance when dressing, including voice, behavior, appropriateness of clothing for the situation, etc.

    PRIMARY SEX CHARACTERISTICS : Male=Penis and Testes, Female=Vagina.

    QUEER : Used to identify someone who aligns themselves with the trans, bisexual, lesbian, and gay (LGBT) community, a term which sometimes now is used in a positive self identification way by some amongst our vast community, but which historically was used only in the negative context to ridicule and label anyone not conforming to heterosexual persons and societal gender norms.

    READ : Being identified as being a member of one’s biological sex in spite of presenting as a member of the target sex.

    REAL LIFE TEST : (RLT or Life Test) A period of time required of individuals seeking reassignment surgery during which they must live full-time expressing and presenting the gender in and of which they identify as. Many doctors require a Real Life Test of two or more years before advancement to SRS (surgery). This Real Life Test period is necessary to be sure that an individual can capably adapt to the sought after gender role. Also known as RLE or Real Life Experience. Check with your surgeon for RLE time requirements as there are variations between them.

    SECONDARY SEX CHARACTERISTICS : The changes that appear when a person reaches puberty. They include, but are not limited to : facial hair and body hair, muscle mass development, and voice changes for males. Breast development and curves for females. In both genders fertility or ability to reproduce. This also refers to the body changes brought on by taking HRT in cases of breast development, curves and emotional changes for MTF. Body and facial hair, muscle mass, voice depth changes, and agressive tendancy for FTM.

    SEX ASSIGNMENT : The declaration, by a doctor, based on what your external genitalia look like, as to what gender you are, and that therefore you are supposed to grow up to exist within a certain set gender role.

    SHAPE SHIFTER : (Metamorph) Used by some people who choose not to identify as trans, to express their belief that they are not changing their gender, but rather changing their body to reflect their inner feelings and gender identity.

    SHAPEWEAR : Padded panties, girdles, or bras designed to help enhance or produce a female figure. Often used by Cross Dressers and Male-to-Female Trans.

    Shemale : Derogatory term coined by the porn industry to describe MTF’s who keep the genitals they were born with. Incorrectly described as Transexuals (note spelling). Transgenderist is now the correct description used by therapists. Most take female hormones and may obtain facial or breast enhancement surgery but almost never SRS.

    SIGNIFICANT OTHER : An individual who is either the girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, or life partner of a transgendered person and who may or may not be supportive of the inner feelings and gender identity of their partner. In cases where the partner of a transgendered individual first finds out about their partners gender issues or wishes to cross dress many can not cope with the issues surrounding their partner. Some choose to leave their partner for good while others find this new aspect of their partner to be a side they can either learn to cope with or actually support. Some even find the new aspects to be desireable in their partner.

    Silicone Pumping Party : Illegal practice of pumping Industrial Silicone into the Face, breasts, hips and buttocks of Transwomen by unlicensed persons. This often ends in “death” or “extreme disfigurement”. Not recommended as it is dangerous.

    SOFFA : Term means (Significant Other, Friend, Family, or Ally) of a person who identifies as transsexual, transgender, CD or gender varient.

    SRS : (Sex Reassignment Surgery) see Gender Reassignment Surgery above.

    STANDARDS OF CARE : A set of minimum guidelines originally formulated by the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, Inc. (HBIGDA) for care of transsexual individuals and providing requirements for consumers and service providers. Other standards also exist under World Professional Association for Trans Health (WPATH).

    STEALTH : The act of living in plain site without being seen as transgendered or being read. To blend in.

    STRAIGHT : An individual who is emotionally, spiritually, physically, and or sexually attracted primarily to members of the opposite gender. A person who accepts their opposite gender attraction, and whom identifies as straight. Also used to identify a MTF attracted to a Male or a FTM attracted to a Female.

    TARGET SEX : The desired sex of a Transsexual or Transgendered person which is opposite of one’s biological sex.

    TOP SURGERY : Surgery “above the waist.” Breast Auugmentation for the MTF and Breast Reduction for the FTM. There are many different issues that cause each person to make the decision to either have or not have the surgeries. Some factors include: desire, expense, physical health, age, and access to medical care and information. There are also many difficulties that can occur with these surgeries, which will factor into each individual’s decision making process.

    TRANSGENDER : Those who transgress rigid societal gender norms, and who present a breaking or blurring of cultural stereotypical gender roles. This includes: Transsexuals, Cross Dressers, Androgynes, Gender Benders, Shape Shifters, and Intersexxed Individuals. The word describes a category and Community, not the individual groups under it’s umbrella which are very different from each other. Some Intersexed people do not consider themselves Transgender. Others who are changing roles and gender through surgery identity with it.

    Transgender Advocate : A person who publicly works for Transgender inclusive rights and the welfare of all gender variant individuals. Seeks to improve our quality of life. National Transgender Advocacy Organizations in U.S.A

    TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY : (Gender Community) A loose association of individuals and organizations who transgress gender norms in a variety of ways. Celebrating a recently born self awareness, this community is growing fast across all lines. The central ethic of this community is unconditional acceptance of individual exercise of freedoms including gender and sexual identity and orientation.

    TRANSGENDERIST : Persons who choose to cross-live full time, but who choose not to have Sex Reassignment Surgery/Gender Reassignment Surgery (SRS/GRS). They may or may not have some surgeries, and they may or may not use hormones.

    TRANSITION : The period during which a transgender individual (usually transsexual) begins to live a new life in their gender of choice. Also, includes the period of full-time living (Real Life Test) required before gender reassignment surgery.

    TRANSMAN : Some FTM’s prefer this newer term. See FTM.

    TRANSPHOBIA : (Gender Phobia) The irrational fear of those who are perceived to break and or blur cultural stereotypical gender roles, often assumed to be queer. Expressed as negative feelings, attitudes, actions or behaviors against those perceived as breaking and or blurring cultural stereotypical gender roles.

    TRANSSEXUAL : MTF, FTM, Pre-Op, Post-Op, Non-Op. A person that experiences an intense long term discomfort resulting from the feeling of inappropriateness of their assigned gender role at birth and the discomfort of their body, and whom as a result adapts their gender role and body in order to reflect and be congruent with their gender identity. This may include cross-living, synthesized sex hormones, surgery and other body modification which may or may not lead to the feeling of harmony between a person’s body and gender identity.

    Transvestite : Outmoded term no longer used by Gender Therapists which used to refer to full time crossdressers. When used today usually meant in a derogatory fashion. History of the term Transvestite.

    TRANSWOMAN : Some MTF’s prefer this newer term. See MTF.

    TUCK(ING) : The act or process of hiding male genitalia by tucking them back between the legs.

    TWO-SPIRIT : A term for both same gender loving and transgendered people that emerged from various Native American traditions. The Dineh (Navaho) word is nadleehe one who is transformed, the Lakota (Sioux) as winkte, the Mohave as alyha, the Zuni as lhamana, the Omaha as mexoga, the Aleut and Kodiak as achnucek, the Zapotec as ira’ muxe, the Cheyenne as he man eh.

    VAGINOPLASTY : In cases of transgendered individuals this is a surgical method of creatinG of a neo vagina. There are two main methods with use of doner tissue from the penis and the scrotum in both cases. And a third way which is used in only the most extreme cases. The first entails the following generally used method. After first incisions in the genitalia the right spermatic cord is ligated (Bound so as not to bleed) and clamped. The primary incision is continued up the ventral (lower) side of the shaft of the penis. The anterior (top) flap is then developed from the skin of the penis. The urethra is dissected from the shaft. The corpora cavernosa (Two chambers in the penis which run the length of the penis and are filled with spongy tissue which blood flows into filling the open spaces in the spongy tissue to create an erection.) are separated to assure a minimal stump. Next, the anterior (top) flap is perforated to position the urethral meatus. (urethra). The skin flaps are sutured and placed in position in the vaginal cavity. The second method was created by Dr. Suporn Watanyusakul in Chonburi, Thailand and is known as the Chonburi Pouch Method or the Suporn Technique. Dr. Suporn’s method is quite different from the typical sexual reassignment surgery as he does not use the penile inversion method. Instead, he constructs the vaginal vault (canal), with scrotal skin and uses the penile tissues for a labia, clitoris, and other external features. A full thickness inguinal (groin crease) skin graft is used for the vaginal lining in rare cases where inadequate scrotal skin is available. Dr. Suporn’s method generally yields a deeper neovagina than the more standard penile inversion technique. After either method is completed the neo vagina is packed to insure it keeps its shape as the patient begins the healing process. Some individuals swear that Suporns technique is superior, others feel the penial inversion method is. The third style of vaginoplasty is called colovaginoplasty and involves a cutting away and resecting of the cut ends of the sigmoid colon. This leaves a freed section of the sigmoid colon for use in forming a vaginal lining.

    ZE : A newer pronoun used by some to refer to a person in place of she or he when talking about an individual whoose gender does not fit into a specific category.

  • Swingset

     

    “Are you a boy or a girl?” he asks, staring up from all three feet of his pudding face grandeur, and I say “Dylan, you’ve been in this class for three years and you still don’t know if I’m a boy or a girl?” And he says “Uh-uh.” And I say “Well, at this point, I don’t really think it matters, do you?” And he says “Uhhhm, no. Can I have a push on the swing?” And this happens every day. It’s a tidal wave of kindergarten curiosity rushing straight for the rocks of me, whatever I am.

    And the class, when we discuss the Milky Way galaxy, the orbit of the Sun around the Earth… or whatever. Jupiter, Saturn, Mars, and kids, do you know that some of the stars we see when we look up in the sky are so far away, they’ve already burned out? What do you think of that? Timmy? “Umm… my mom says that even though you got hairs that grow from your legs, and the hairs on your head grow short and poky, and that you smell really bad, like my dad, that you’re a girl.” “Thank you, Timmy.”

    And so it goes. On the playground, she peers up at me from behind her pink power puff sunglasses and then asks, “Do you have a boyfriend?” And I say no, and she says “Oh, do you have a girlfriend?” And I say “No, but if by some miracle, twenty years from now, I ever finally do, then I’ll definitely bring her by to meet you. How’s that?” “Okay. Can I have a push on the swing?”

    And that’s the thing. They don’t care. They don’t care. Us, on the other hand… My father sitting across the table at Christmas dinner, gritting his teeth over his still-full plate, his appetite ripped away by the intrusion of my haircut, “What were you thinking? You used to be such a pretty girl!” Frat boys, drunken, screaming, leaning out of the windows of their daddys’ SUVs, “Hey! Are you a faggot or a dyke?” And I wonder what would happen if I met up with them in the middle of the night.

    Then of course there’s always the somehow not-quite-bright enough fluorescent light of the public restroom, “Sir! Sir, do you realize this is the ladies’ room?” “Yes, ma’am, I do, it’s just that I didn’t feel comfortable sticking this tampon up my penis in the men’s room.”

    But the best, the best is always the mother at the market, sticking up her nose while pushing aside her daughter’s wide eyes, whispering “Don’t stare, it’s rude.” And I want to say, “Listen, lady, the only rude thing I see is your paranoid parental hand pushing aside the best education on self that little girl’s ever gonna get, living with your Maybelline lips, stairmaster hips, synthetic kiwi-vanilla smelling beauty; so why don’t you take your pinks and blues, your boy-girl rules and shove them in that car with your fucking issue of Cosmo, because tomorrow, I start my day with twenty-eight minds who know a hell of a lot more than you. And if I show up in a pink frilly dress, those kids won’t love me any more, or less.”

    “Hey, are you a boy or a — never mind, can I have a push on the swing?” And some day, y’all, when we grow up, it’s all gonna be that simple.

    –Poem by Andrea Gibson

  • Failed Prophecies

     

    Isaiah 17:1 “An oracle concerning Damascus: See, Damascus will no longer be a city but will become a heap of ruins.”

    FAIL: Damascus is still inhabited today with well over a million people and there was never a time where it ceased to be a city. It is widely known as being the oldest continuously inhabited city in the world.

     

    Isaiah 19:4-5 “I will hand the Egyptians over to the power of a cruel master, and a fierce king will rule over them, declares the Lord, the LORD Almighty. The waters of the river will dry up, and the riverbed will be parched and dry.”

    FAIL: The river mentioned here is the Nile which never dried up and is still one of Egypt’s greatest natural resource.

     

    Isaiah 52:1 “Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourself with strength. Put on your garments of splendor, O Jerusalem, the holy city. The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again.”

    FAIL: There are still uncircumcised people living in Jerusalem even today.

     

    Ezekiel 30:10-11 “This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will put an end to the hordes of Egypt by the hand of Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon. He and his army – the most ruthless of nations – will be brought in to destroy the land. They will draw their swords against Egypt and fill the land with the slain.”

    FAIL: Ezekiel predicts that Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon will conquer Egypt utterly destroying it, slaying and scattering its people. In 568 BCE Nebuchadnezzar tried to conquer Egypt and Egypt survived with no apparent damage. Aahmes ruled for another generation over a prosperous Egypt and lived to see Nebuchadnezzar die. The Egyptians were not scattered or dispersed.

     

    Ezekiel 29:10-11 “therefore I am against you and against your streams, and I will make the land of Egypt a ruin and a desolate waste from Migdol to Aswan, as far as the border of Cush. The foot of neither man nor beast will pass through it; no one will live there for forty years.”

    FAIL: Never in its long history has Egypt been uninhabited for forty years.

     

    Matthew 16:28 “I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” 23:36 “I tell you the truth, all this will come upon this generation.” 24:34 “I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened.”

    FAIL: Jesus states in Matthew that all the signs marking the end of the world would be fulfilled before his generation ended, before the people that were standing infront of him “taste death.” Those people have been dead for over 2000 years and the world did not come to an end, neither have all those signs been fulfilled.

     

    The Bible says Joshua destroyed the wall of Jericho around 1400 BCE but Archaeological evidence shows that an earthquake destroyed the wall in 2300 BCE. The city was also thoroughly destroyed by a fire and then abandoned in 1600 BCE. Jericho was not inhabited again until 700 BCE. There was no wall to tumble down or citizens to destroy at Jericho within centuries of when the Bible says Joshua was there.

     

    Matthew 27:52-53 claims that when Jesus died graves were opened as zombies rose from them and this was seen by many people. If a city under Roman occupation was invaded by zombies don’t you think at least one contemporary historian would have written about it? Needless to say, there is not one historical documentation of an actual zombie uprising.

     

    The Bible does not say what year Jesus was born but it does tell us during which specific historical events his birth took place. Matthew says Jesus was born in Judea during the reign of Herod the Great and Luke says Jesus was born during the major tax census while Quirinius was governor of Syria. These are both documented historical events but they are also separated by at least 10 years making it historically impossible for Jesus to be born during both events.

     

    The Bible places the events of its Tower of Babel story around 1000 BCE. According to Genesis before this time “the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech”. In reality there were many spoken and written languages prior to the Tower of Babel events. Chinese was developed prior to 1200 BCE and speakers of several Semitic languages developed the abjab and consonantal alphabet prior to 1500 BCE. The oldest known text in the Sanskrit language, the Rigveda, dates to 1700-1100 BCE. Egyptian hieroglyphs date back to about 3100 BCE and Sumerian writings date as far back as 3200 BCE.

  • Don’t Box me in

    Gender.

    You’re born either a boy or a girl, right?

    It can seem so cut and dry to many of us… But if we look closer, at others (and sometimes even at ourselves), gender can be much more complicated. Much more interesting. Much more.

    But Gender is something that is rarely spoken of in our culture.

     

     

  • Craft time

    The making of pencil boxes……

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Cults: Indoctrination & Exploitation

    They isolate their followers emotionally and geographically. They brainwash impressionable adults and innocent children. They use and abuse trust for personal gain. They are cult leaders, and those who’ve escaped their grasp have compelling and often horrifying stories to tell.

     

     

  • Dear Lady in the Women’s Washroom

    Dear Lady in the Women’s Washroom
    LOOSE END
    Ivan Coyote / Vancouver / Thursday, September 22, 2011

     

    I can only surmise from our recent interaction that I startled you in the women’s washroom at the mall today. I guess I don’t look much like what you seem to think a female washroom user should.

    This is not the first time this has happened to me; in fact, this was not the first time this happened to me this week. Forgive me if I was not as patient with you as you seemed to feel I should have been, but I would like to point out that your high-pitched squeal startled me, and I needed to urinate very badly. Perhaps I was not as gracious as I could have been.

    To ensure that the next time this happens to you, or me, things go more smoothly for everyone involved, I have jotted down a couple of notes for your reference.

    Not everyone fits easily into one of the two options provided on your standard public washroom doors. In my world, gender is a spectrum, not a binary. Just because an individual does not present as what you feel a woman should look like does not mean that person does not belong there.

    Public washrooms are just that: public. This means that you do not get to decide whom you share them with. I would like to remind you that everyone, regardless of their gender identity or presentation, needs to pee.

    For some of us, public washrooms are stressful places. We generally avoid them whenever possible. Please, rest assured that if I have chosen to enter a public washroom in spite of my long and arduous history with them, I have taken the time to note which door I am about to walk into, and that I am confident I have chosen the lesser of two evils.

    I am, in fact, hyper aware of which bathroom I am in. It is not necessary for you to stare at me, pointedly refer to the graphic on the door or discuss my decision loudly with your companions. Gawking, elbowing your friend and repeatedly clearing your throat are also not helpful. Trust me, I will be in and out as quick as is humanly possible.

    The next time this happens to you, I would like you to think twice before screaming. I would like you to imagine what it feels like to be me. Imagine being screeched at by a perfect stranger. Now imagine being screeched at when you really need to pee, or your tampon gave out 20 minutes ago. Sucks, doesn’t it?

    I want you to know that I understand wanting to feel safe from men while using the bathroom in a public place. This is, in fact, the primary reason I don’t just use the other bathroom. That, and I have a very delicate sense of smell and don’t like returning filthy toilet seats to the down position.

    I also would like you to know that trans and genderqueer people suffer from many more bladder infections, urinary tract issues and general pee–related health problems than the general population. I humbly ask you to consider why this might be the case.

    I would also like you to know that I have had the great pleasure of spending time with seven-year-old and eight-year-old tomboys lately. Both young girls have experienced serious bullying at school and day camp over their gender presentation, especially in and around the question of gendered bathrooms. They have both come home from school in tears, and one of them even quit science camp because of it.

    Hearing that these two sweet, kind, amazing children have already experienced “the bathroom problem” that I so often face myself not only broke my heart, it enraged me. I feel that this type of bullying has impeded their ability to access a public education, and affected their desire to participate in valuable activities outside of school as well.

    I would like you to consider how this might affect their self-esteem, their grades and their sense of self-worth. I remind you that they are just little kids. They are only in elementary school, and it has started already. Not such a little thing after all, is it?

    I ask you to forgive me my impatience with you at the mall today. But how could I possibly not think of my two little friends and feel anything but rage?

    See, when you scream at me without thinking in the women’s washroom, you are implicating yourself in a rigid, two-party gender system that tells others it is okay to discriminate against people like me. Even little children who are like me.

    This is the very same attitude that results in queer youth suicides and high school murderers being acquitted because the dead boy asked for it by wearing a skirt and makeup. It is this same attitude that turns its head when trans women are shot at by off-duty police officers and denied services at women’s shelters. It is this kind of sentiment that says it is okay to deny us housing, or a job, or the right to adopt children or dance on a freaking reality television show.

    If you think I am making any of this up, then I encourage you to open up your newspaper and have another look.

    I would like to remind you that this very same two-party gender system is enforced on me and others like me every day, policed by people just like you. It starts very young, and sometimes is subtle, as small as a second look on the way out of a bathroom stall, but sometimes it is deafening, and painful, and violent — even murderous.

    So, the next time you meet up with someone like me in the “ladies’ room,” please think twice before screaming. I am not there by accident. In fact, I spent a lot more time looking at the sign on the door than you ever have.