July 30, 2009
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A Dare for you….
I have a dare for you….. I dare you to walk a day in another person’s shoes. My little video here will explain it better (It’s not the greatest video as I made it on a whim and a few quick minutes…but it will give you the idea.)
Comments (59)
Not gonna do it, K!
@AOK4WAY -
Maybe I should have said that the challenge was for women? Grandma is taking a nap and this came in to my head so I quick made the video and posted it 
This is a great dare
You look great…you sound great…you act perfect in your gesture…Salaam Sister
@ThePraisedOne - Thank you. I don’t normally do video posts….So it is a bit weird to see myself talking on the screen here.
I hope that people will take me up on the dare.
salaam
Hmmm, if I could access one I would try it. I’m sure the reactions I get would be astounding. I never could understand that principle either.
@AnamcharaConcepts - They are very easy to come by. Scarves are very popular right now. Many different types of Hijab and veiling can be done with regular scarves that can be gotten cheap at walmart or some place like that
I did a post on a few different ways
I love the idea.. but what about for the people who can’t afford to buy one just to wear for a day?
@Job_One_21 - well, a lot of people have scarves because they are/were so in style for awhile. They can be used. Lots of mine (Like the white one in this video) are scarves from walmart.
@Kristenmomof3 - Cool! Thanks I’ll check it out
Well… I wore Amish garb for the first 24 years of my life. People who were familiar with the Amish in this area did not treat me differently, except those who had bad experiences with the Amish- they just avoided you. In areas where Amish were hardly ever seen, there were stares, questions, open curiosity, sometimes rude comments, and the most disconcerting of all: being discussed within earshot, as if by dressing Amish I suddenly became either deaf or unable to speak English!
For the most part, though, if I keep my face cheerful and engaging, usually people will visibly relax and smile back when they make eye contact. I think the expression on our faces and in our eyes tells people a lot about us, whether we are wearing a visible religious identity or not.
Now, I am with a fairly “modern” Mennonite church; I wear a small, black, lace-bordered veiling on my head, and wear dresses, skirts/blouses/jumpers almost all of the time. (save for such activities as swimming, horseback riding, jogging, etc) People do treat me somewhat more openly; they are friendlier and more likely to strike up a conversation. However, again- on a recent vacation to Mackinaw Island, MI, I was reminded that some areas are not familiar with Mennonites. Lots of stares.
I think wearing the hijab would carry quite a bit more negative connotations than Amish garb because of the negative aspects usually associated with Muslims and their beliefs by people who are ignorant of them.
I’ve done it. And I did get strange looks, and a lot of questions, but I didn’t get any more negative comments than I would if I wore, say, a bright attention-getting Christian t-shirt with a hard-hitting message. And I live in the nation’s fourth largest city.
Scripture says we will be hated for His name, right? And that we aren’t supposed to be of this world, right? Well that means that we are going to do things that set us apart from this world – and the world isn’t going to like us because of it.
Here’s my point. Any time we do something that makes us stick out from the crowd – we’re going to get reactions. Some positive, some negative. It’s just part of life.
If you want to wear it because that is what God has called you to do – then great (and if someone else doesn’t, then great, thanks to Christ we are not legalistically bound to the Old Testament laws anymore). Just realize that there are always going to be people who don’t react the way you think they should.
It is funny that you said you can’t experience being a black person…you should read “Black Like Me” by John Howard Griffin…he did that very thing!!! I remember reading it is High School and being very moved by it. I am sure you could find a copy in your local library.
I know what it is like to be noticed for being “different”….I lived in Thailand for 3 years. definitely didn’t “fit in” and got lots of stares and giggling and finger pointing. I also remember on more than one occasion… walking down the street and having someone come up and literally run their fingers through my hair, or feel my skin…as if somehow my caucasian skin felt differently than oriental skin!!!
I Guess my point is that people are going to react to people who seem “different” but at the base of everything is how they have been raised!!! I would never think of staring at you or making comments just because you looked “different”….maybe the fact that I have been on the other end of the stick makes me more aware of peoples feelings that some people.
I appreciate your “dare” but I am not sure that I will be taking you up on it…as you can see…I have ….”Been there done that”!!!
Let us know what results you get!!!
Ruth Ann
PS Did you hear anything else about the job interview?????
@Redlegsix - I have a second interview on Friday. I will let everyone know how it goes.
@Redlegsix - as for the results…not many people seem up to the dare yet
@Kristenmomof3 - I’m hoping and praying too as well
I covered for a number of years and even in places where covering was VERY rare, I never noticed a difference at all.
@mandamom2many - really? Barry notices all the time people looking me up and down and glaring at me. Many times I tend to be oblivious to it. Mainly I guess because I don’t care what people think
@Kristenmomof3 - Right on
I wear the hanging white veiling, typical of what a lot of conservative Mennonite groups wear today. I’ve been asked on different occasions what I’m wearing, even been asked if I was a nun. I also wore a white net cap for years, but feel the hanging type veiling fits better with a simple lifestyle.
I have been asked questions, been stared at, but never approached rudely because of it. The questions, i try to answer with i believe 1 Cor. 11 is saying about covering my literal head, to show that i respect God and man, who are over me. I’ll also ask if they have read, or have access to a Bible to read that chapter. The stares, I deal with as mikenpeg mentioned, try to put on a friendly face and not worry about it.
I personally would not wear a hijab, mostly because I would not want to be appear to be part of a culture that has been associated with so much negativity the last while. i also would not wear a nun’s headcovering, simply because I’m not a nun. But following Christ’s command to love all people, I want to be a witness for Him and show respect to all people, esp. for those who have not accepted salvation. You have gotten me thinking here, kristenmomof3!
I grew up not wearing pants, only dresses and long skorts. It was HORRID going to public school like that… but that persecution made me into a person who isn’t afraid to go against the tide. Today I will wear pants and shorts but I keep my clothing modest. A lot of people freak out with my swimming attire because i wear opaque tights and shorts and a dark loose t-shirt over my swim top… I almost fit right in with the Muslim girls that were there at the water park, the only difference was that they had on long sleeves and hijab. LOL
I’ve worn a head covering a few times in public years ago and received many uncomfortable stares. I can only imagine what it must be like actually wearing a hijab around here… there’s a lot of bigots out there. It’s sad.
@AOK4WAY - well you should! Id like to know the outcome. HEHEHE
Okay now. I wear a veil.. I get a lot of looks from people as (being strange-what’s up with that-what religion are you and so on) But I would have to say that I get more respect when wearing it. People seem to think you’re more honest-they can trust you-they just seem to give me more respect. They even smile at me when before they might not have. You know just little things. But I also get stared at too. So no I’m not going to do this as I am in the other persons shoes. I just don’t know who’s. Also this is even a stretch for my (unsaved) husband to deal with and I’m not pushing the {atomic bomb} button!! I’ll keep tuned in though to see if anyone else does it and what they have to say about it. Great challenge though
@TodaysJourney@momaroo - I think I can project the outcome without actually doing it, friend! I’d get halfway to where I was going before I got beat up and called a sissy lol. Can’t ya just hear that emergency room conversation?
Doctor: You’re pretty banged up, Mr. Aok4way. What happened to you?
Me: I got beat up for wearing womens’ clothing.
Doctor: Far be it from me to judge you, sissy. Now this might hurt a little…
Nope, not gonna do it lol.
note to people who comment….I have a rule…no swearing or vulgarity in the comments. To do so will cause your comment to be deleted. Thank you
how do I do that? I want to try.
@acst2 - Scarves are very popular right now. Many
different types of Hijab and veiling can be done with regular scarves
that can be gotten cheap at walmart or some place like that
I did a post on a few different ways
@Kristenmomof3 - ohh… heh. sorry I was actually asking how can I walk in another person’s shoes. I’m so sorry. but thank you still for the info. we have kmart…? =]
I’ve started wearing a bandanna in my hair most of the time as a cover, and paired with my long skirts … well, you know I get a lot of positive feedback on my kids when I’m dressed like that. (laughs). Not on ME …. on my kids! But I fnd the cover of personal spiritual value, so I wear it more and more often.
very interesting.
i would do it when its not so hot over here, or rainy
i love different cultures. I have alot of friends who are Asian (all kinds), Muslim, Christian, Black, Indian, Athiest.
its amazing ^_^
hmmm…sounds interesting.. i just might do it. Its a great way to truly understand someone
I do both. I cover my hair and dress more modestly for certain occasions (Jewish ones), and I haven’t found that anyone looks at me any differently or speaks to me differently or anything. The only thing is that people always think I’m Muslim rather than Jewish. Not covering, on the other hand, no one in my everyday life cares (again), but if I were to go into an Orthodox Jewish community and say I’m Jewish (which I am), they would be (and have been) not particularly nice, and they would not accept me. I’ve only experienced that in one place though, and I do not think that would be the case with all Orthodox Jews (and I hope it wouldn’t be). It can go either way with any group of people, not just those of us who do not wear religious garb on an everyday basis. Anyone can and will judge you and be rude, etc.
@Kristenmomof3 - @Job_One_21 - @AnamcharaConcepts - If you don’t want to buy a hijab just to wear for one day, take the seam out of a light-weight pillow case. The resulting long strip of fabric is the perfect length and width for a wrap-type hijab. I did this when I had to get one in a hurry to go to a friends’ wedding at a mosque.
@radicalramblings - That is a very creative and cool thing
I have a pillowcase that we don’t use that I love that I may make into one since you gave me the idea. COOL!!!!
@radicalramblings - Thanks for the idea!
@Kristenmomof3 - Crib sheets work well for traditional hijab also
@radicalramblings - but you might look a little strange with little duckies or noah’s ark on your head LOL
@Kristenmomof3 - Wellllll I was thinking more of the ones with pretty pastel patterns, but uhm yeah.
All kidding aside – my friend converted to Islam a few years ago… but was pretty poor at the time. And came up with all sorts of creative double uses for things that she already had. She was a … ahem… dancer… before she converted so her clothing was a bit … ahem… immodest.
@radicalramblings - creative is good
It can save all kinds of money
This is pretty interesting, but I think if I participated, I would have more questioning looks because of my gender of I was wearing a hijab. (Did I spell it right?)
On another, somewhat related note… I often find it difficult sometimes to be a Christian in America, which may seem contradictory, depending on who you’re talking to.
@mikenpeg - my big bro is muslim, but hes not a blood relative. but from what hes told me about where he lives and the religion and everything i once told him i wished people around here could be more like that.
and cool idea
you really understand and appreciate a person more, when you kno personally what their life is like. 
This will not exactly produce clear results because first of all, if a non-muslim came out in Muslim clothing and said “it’s just a dare, i’m trying it out”, they would be labeled as someone making a joke out of some serious matter. Also, since it’s not ‘normal’ for that person to be wearing such clothing, the most likely reaction would be that they are going to be laughed at, not because they’re wearing muslim clothing (meaning they’re not laughing at the muslim culture) but at the person specifically. There are too many uncontrolled variables.
If for example though, a person will want to try this, he/she should make sure to do it in a place where nobody knows his/her cultural background. That way, being in a Muslim clothing, they are believed to be Muslims and will thus be treated as they would to a Muslim person, however that may be.
Just thought I’d give a suggestion to fix the experiment.
Can you sum up the gist of what you said in your video, as I am deaf? I know it’s a challenge to walk a day in a headcovering, but that’s all I know. Tichel? Hijab? Bandana? What kind, where, do what? etc.
@Kristenmomof3 - Doesn’t that bother him- that you are conspicuous while he is not? That really bothers my husband, when people stare at my headcovering. He feels it is wrong to make me carry the ‘religious’ identity if he is the spiritual leader. This is one of the reasons he is not very settled on the headcovering. He thinks if anyone should be carrying a religious emblem it should be the men.
@mikenpeg - I’ve always wondered that too!
@mikenpeg - I doesn’t bother my husband. He says “Why would it bother me?” He said that either way people stare at other people…and that if people are going to stare at me he would rather it be for the sake of modesty then any other reason.
@BohemianLamb - The challenge is to wear a hijab or some type of veil that is clearly a headcovering for a day or week or month and go out and do everything that you would normally do and see what type of reactions you get. To walk in anothers shoes.
@Kristenmomof3 - I thought so, but I wanted to be sure I had the full story. The thing is I spent a couple of years wearing a Tichel all the time, now I only wear it draped over my head during prayer. If I do this challenge I’ll have to go to a full hijab to get the full effect. Hmmm. I just might… the only thing is I would miss all the whispers and such as I did before because I can’t hear them. But I am more observant than most people, and at first I was self conscious in my Tichels because I did get some discrimination but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it would have been in a hijab. I really hope anyone that does this goes all the way to a hijab…
I wear a headcovering all the time, and have for over 20 years, since my mid-twenties. I know that I get more stares than before, and quite a few questions, but never have I had any kind of negative reaction. I think weraing hijab, however, is asking for a negative reaction. There is quite a bit of anti-Muslim sentiment around, and with good reason, so I’m not much interested in taking the brunt of it. I actually think their headcoverings are beautiful, but wouldn’t wear that style because of the associations. I usually wear a simple scarf.
@homefire - you say with good reason. I am just wondering what the good reason is to be prejudicial against all the women who wear Hijab?
I figured someone might jump on that. I didn’t say there was a good reason to “be prejudicial against all the women who wear Hijab.” What I said was that there was good reason for anti-Muslim sentiment. And there is. If three nuns hijacked a plane and flew it into a skyscraper, then there would be good reason for anti-Catholic feelings. Or perhaps I should have said it was “understandable” rather than a good reason. Some particular member of a group performing an atrocity is not necessarily a good reason to eye the entire group askance, but it certainly is understandable that it would tend to happen. Especially when all indications show that the act was performed because of their affiliation with that group. I try not to let things like that color my acceptance of people, but it’s a fact that many people don’t even try. And I think it’s probably hard for most of us, if we’re honest.
There. Was that clearer?
So is there some particular reason why you choose the hijab style over other coverings that don’t look Muslim? Just curious.
people only relate hijab with muslim women.
@homefire - but all Muslims are not terrorists.
Would it be ok to hate all christians because of that church that goes to funerals to protest and holds up signs that say God Hates F@*s. No! it wouldn’t.
Of course. Did I say they were? Not familiar with whatever the “church” you’re talking about is, but if they had a distinctive dress, then I’m guessing they would get negative reactions by wearing it. Not that it would “be ok to hate” them–just that people’s minds would tend to lump them together with the ones who make a splash. I’ not talking about hating Muslims here, so the analogy doesn’t hold up. I’m talking about associating a certain look with a negative action.
Kristen, things like this don’t have to make sense–it’s just human nature to associate things like that. Just for example, my husband grew up in Amish country, and it happened to be a very bad area. Many of the Amish men in that community drank, smoked, and swore, and they were extremely impolite to outsiders. To this day, my husband has a tendency to look down on the Amish. He now knows that there are many of them who do live a more godly lifestyle, but since his first exposure was to those who only wore the clothes and were not Christian, he tends to view them with skepticism.
Many people do the same with Muslims, and I say that it is understandable. When that particular style of dress is strongly associated with killing people who worship differently, then even if the individual in question doesn’t hold that view, it can’t help but affect the way people look at them.
While it is never “okay” to treat someone badly, especially based on their clothing, we have to also have compassion for the hurting people who are not thinking rationally. If I had loved ones die in a terrorist attack perpetrated by Muslims, it might be pretty hard for me to smile at a hijab, too, even knowing that they weren’t the ones who did it. Don’t forget that the Muslims are not the only ones hurting, here. If a small child were treated badly by someone who looked like me, I couldn’t blame them for crying when they see me. Even though it would make me feel bad, I would understand that. And hurting people are a lot like small children.
And you didn’t answer my question. Why do you wish to look Muslim when you’re not?
@homefire - I dress modest. The clothes I wear is not muslim (Islam is a religion not a dress)….It is Pakistani/Indian….there are many Christian women who wear it. It is a wrong assumption by some people that only muslims dress this way. Did you see my post about the picnic on Saturday where the three Iraqi hijabi Christian women were in attendance?
Maybe it is a wrong assumption, but it is nevertheless the natural assumption. If I see a man in a clerical, I conclude that he is a priest or similar clergy. Maybe he isn’t, but it IS a logical assumption, and he should expect it. And yes, many Christian women in the Middle East and India wear thier traditional clothes, which makes perfect sense. Are they your traditional clothes, then? I was under the impression that you had recently adopted the custom–am I wrong?
And don’t misunderstand me–your clothes are quite lovely and very modest, and I find no fault with your wearing them if that’s what you prefer. I’m just wondering why the hijab, which is so distinctly associated with Muslims (obviously, from the reactions that Anamchara got.) Christian women in India do wear scarves that they pull up over their heads, but it seems to me that they are usually worn more loosely–just a slightly different look, somehow.
Anyway, no big deal. It’s just that I think that if you wear a hijab, you should perhaps expect some dark looks and be ready to pray for those who assume the worst about you.
I want to do it eventually, but for right now I can’t because of my mother…she’s very closeminded and how else would I be expected to get the hijab? I was even looking at AnamcharaConcepts‘s entry, mentioned it to her and she said “Why would anyone ever want to do that?” assuming that everyone’s forced to.
Well, I beg to differ from her and think that the hijab is a very modest way to go. In the world we live in where there’s so much oversexualization of things, being modest is something we definitely would benefit from a kick of. I don’t really get the reason for covering the hair but I respect all the people that wear it. Of course, I believe it should be a matter of choice to wear it…otherwise people get the wrong idea :S (you know, the repressed by man/husband crap)
By the way, your head covering is neat the way it’s all braided! I initially thought it looked like a nun’s habbit but then when you pulled it in front of you…man! Very cool.
I may just have to take you up on this dare
Seems like an interesting experience.